Some Days I Just Lose It.

Monday, April 18, 2011.....


Yesterday was one of those days that I just lost it. I mean I had an emotional vomit session and my husband was the toilet. It wasn't anything he said or did, it was totally me. I can't explain why (having had a womanly cancer, I've eliminated the option of PMS) and it was extremely frustrating to me.

I could feel a variety of emotions building up and brewing inside of me and it was though I could feel my blood boil. I hadn't a clue why I was so angry and when asked what was wrong, I just began to weep.

The weird part is that I really wanted to stop. I really wanted to know why I was so mad, but couldn't.

All day I was like this. In fact, I wish I could have left my own body and hung out with someone else, but I was trapped with me.

I finally calmed down by nightfall (I wonder if I'm like a vampire) and today is a good day.

There are reasons why I'm so off my rocker at the moment and I know I'll find a way to handle the stress. In the meantime, my husband sent me an email this morning with something he knows I'd love to do. He gets amazing specials on plays and dinners in NYC and I love going into NYC, but can't right now. He offered to take me. It is a sweet idea, but I believe this is as fun to him as a root canal.

Although I appreciate the gesture more than you can imagine, I don't want to go with someone who wouldn't enjoy the experience the same way.