Crayons

Monday, September 7, 2009....


I'm currently reading Lovely Bones (a wonderful read for anyone who hasn't already read it) and although the overall theme of the book is sad, there is one particular passage which struck a cord with me. The passage described how two young boys colored for so long that they were exhausted and fell asleep right at the table. After reading the passage, I began to wonder when did I stop doing this? When did I stop caring about the pleasure something brought me and only became focused on the outcome?

I've noticed over the years I just stop myself from trying something new because I have determined I will not reach the desired outcome I'm looking for. I've seemed to forgotten the process, the journey of getting from Point A to Point B.

It's not only a fear of failing, it's sometimes the thought of succeeding that scares me more. Instead of just doing something, enjoying the process, I stop and sabotage myself.

I want to be those boys in the book. I want to color like there is no tomorrow and not care if I fail or succeed. That's what I want.

Now, the real question is: How do I get passed me?