A Pickup Line a Guy Should NEVER Use....

I'm over 50 and DON'T need Viagra!

Yup. You read what I wrote. And yes, this very line was used on my sister while in NYC a couple of weekends ago.

About 3 weeks ago, my sister, YogaGirl, PonchoGirl (my friend since I was 5) and I went into NYC. YogaGirl turns 50 next week and treated us, for her birthday (which I don't get, but I'm okay with it) to tickets to see Harry Connick Jr on Broadway. After the play, PonchoGirl treated us to dinner at Barbuto (YUMMY - would highly recommend), but it was the time in between the play and dinner that YogaGirl met the man of her dreams....

Okay, maybe it was a nightmare, but still, a nightmare is a dream!

We went across the street to this bar where every inch of space, including the ceiling, was adored with glittery pictures of the Virgin Mary and Jesus. The specialty of the house were margaritas, and although I'm not partial to the artwork in the bar (translation, I don't have any glittery coloring book pictures of Jesus, Mary or Joseph in my home), the place had a very fun kitchy vibe to it and we parked our butts on the bar stool. This is where my sister met Mr. Wonderful and his friend.

This is the point in the story where I need to make my disclaimer: If an annoying, or I think I'm an ultra-cool man, begins to talk to a friend or family member of mine, I don't care how close we are, I will ditch your sorry ass to avoid any conversation with such human being.

Yup. It's true. I've done it in the past, but to my defense, I learned this trick from a girlfriend who'd did the same to me before I remarried.

I guess the conversation was going smoothly between my sister, non-Viagra (nV) man and his friend until the friend went to the bathroom. I guess nV felt this the perfect time let her know he was in town for one night and how he was over 50, but needed no Viagra. Mind you, the guy was wearing a wedding band. I missed this conversation, as I had already turned my back and ditched her to chat with my friend.

What the hell was nV guy thinking? Did he think telling my sister of his manliness was going to get her on her back in his hotel room? (Note: he made sure to mention several times prior how they were only in town for one night - this was precisely the moment I turned my back on her to chat only with my friend).

I'm not sure what I might have said if I had been tossed that line. Actually I do. I would have said: "Wow, you must be really proud". But somehow, I think her approach of not responding was probably the way to go.

We left shortly after the comment and as we made our way to the restaurant, I asked my sister why she didn't go for it.

Yeah, I laughed at her expense.