Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Curiosity Gets the Cat.....

In this scenario, I'm the cat.....

Let me explain. A couple weeks ago, I was staying at my sister's house. I didn't bring my laptop and wanted to check my email so I used hers. My husband sent me a document to read and as I was downloading the document I noticed there was one entitled "dating.xls".

My sister is single and her love of excel made me naturally think it was hers. Never did it enter my head that this document, housed in the download documents, belonged to anyone other than her. Curiosity got the best of me. I mean, why, or better yet, what would one capture in a dating excel spreadsheet.

Well....I was in for a surprise. I opened it up to discover pictures of women. I was saddened that she didn't feel comfortable telling me she was gay. I immediately talked with my husband and realized she would tell me when she was ready and it wasn't my place to bring it up. [Note: I didn't really realize this. He told me to shut my pie hole and when she was ready to tell me she would. I secretly hoped this was sooner than later]. However, I was totally disgusted because the women in the spreadsheet were half her age and the comments were pretty superficial. More about what the girl looked like than the conversation she had with her.

I was dumbfounded. I'm incredibly close with my sister and couldn't believe she was trolling for young women and how shallow she was. Seriously, I thought to myself, what a shallow, dirty letch. Didn't she know the rule about the lowest appropriate dating age? 1/2 your age + 7.

Luckily for me, I only had to hold my tongue for 1 day. The next morning we were talking about the speed of her computer and it came up that she couldn't believe she still had the dating spreadsheet on her computer [Background: A week or so before my mother died, my sister had told me the story she read on the Internet about this guy who tracked his dates on a spreadsheet and downloaded it so she could send it to me. She knew how much I love to goof on her about putting almost every piece of data in an excel spreadsheet. Well, we got distracted with life events and she never sent to me.]

I confessed to downloading the spreadsheet, and then, confessed my thoughts. I told her how I couldn't believe she'd think it okay to be such a letch just because she jumped the fence. She laughed at me.

I guess that's what I get for being curious. I'm glad I only had to wait 24 hours to learn my sister wasn't a creepy, shallow being.

Sunday, May 20, 2012


I'm starting my 4th week in my new job and you know what....after 4 years of being unemployed, it felt as though nothing has changed. Although, my attitude has.

For the past 3 weeks, I've been asked: "How do you like the new job?" Ummmm.. I'm thankful for the position and appreciate that I have a job. However, I've learned some key things about me I've carried into this job and here they are:

1. I work to live, not live to work. I know people who live to work and am thankful there are people on the earth who are wired this way, but it's not me.

2. I don't necessarily believe that everyone has to follow their passion as their career. I LOVE cooking, food, eating food, farmer's markets. BUT, do I want to work long hours as a chef? Nope. I'll just keep having my monthly dinner parties instead. For me, I am thankful I have identified my passion and will always have it to relieve stress.

Okay...the rest are observations....

3. My home office is located in NJ...exactly 4 miles from my last employer's home office (yes, I do find this weird). For the 1st 2 weeks I traveled to NJ (luckily, my boss has no issue with me working remotely), but as I was driving the 94 miles to the office, I discovered NJ has a State car -- the BMW SUV. I swear BMW must have secretly left their SUV in the driveways of NJ residents. As I was driving down the highway, there was one in every lane of the 3 lane highway. The runner-up car was Lexus - any make and model.

4. I'm 46, but am still amazed at the stupid things that come out of people's mouths. Day 1, someone was helping me get my badge. They actually said something like this to me: "You know, I'm only taking you around because I was told to". Really? I knew you weren't doing this out of the kindness of your heart, but sometimes, just sometimes, you need to not share your inner voice. I now know how a deer feels when it comes face-to-face with the bright headlights of a car at night. I believe I said: "Thank you, I appreciate it".

5. I think the IT people either hate me or expect an invitation to my house at Thanksgiving. I believe I've called them more than I've talked with my boss. Yes. I'm tech retarded. But, if it weren't for employees like me, these people wouldn't have a job. So....maybe, they really do love me deep down.

6. There is no such thing as the magic cleaning fairy. If she exists, she doesn't come to my house and am pissed. I guess I forgot I no longer have that extra 9 hours a day to clean one or two rooms. If you're wondering why it takes me 9 hours to clean one or two rooms, well, let me tell you why -- when I clean I have a secret cleaning tool and it's called PRO-CRAS-TI-NATION. Don't mistake it with a feather duster or vacuum, it resembles a couch, a t.v., a computer or book. None of which help me empty a dishwasher.

7. Last, but not least, I love working from home. I'm more focused and can wear yoga pants and slippers to work.

Those are my observations about starting work again -- my other non-work observation is that I watched Celebrity Apprentice this season. Having never watched the season of American Idol Clay Aiken was on, I had never heard him sing. Oh. My. God. Does he have an amazing voice. I was shocked in a very pleasant way.