Friday, July 31, 2009

Recent Purchase

Friday, July 31, 2009....

No. I didn't take advantage for the trade-in for gas guzzling cars, or buy great shoes. Instead, I bought a new scale. I know you're jealous. Admit it.

I had one, but it was wonky. Every time I'd step on it, which was next to never, the numbers would flash and then I'd get errrr..... as the end result. Hell, I know I have to lose weight, but I think there are better ways other than my scale flashing errr.....

Having a lot of time to reflect last week, I decided to start some sort of diet (I don't want to use that word because I envision big bowls of lettuce which is okay, I guess, if I were a rabbit) and thought I should weigh myself and figure out calorie count for my target 10% goal (counting calories allows me to sneak in a small Crumbs cupcake - the large suckers, although tasty as hell, are 780 calories).

Monday, scale works fine. Tuesday, same thing, same number. Wednesday down 2 lbs. I equate this to realizing I'm finally eating the right amount of calories and I exercised. However, Thursday, down another 2 lbs. NOT. Instead of jumping with joy, I think my scale is a big fat liar. I step on again. After several wonky readings, I get one that puts me 8 lbs higher. WTF???

Final straw. I'm not into Magic 8 Ball readings (although, they are helpful when making major life decisions - JOKING), I consulted YogaGirl because she loves her scale and purchased the Weight Watchers scale.

You can do a lot on the scale. I was only interested in a normal reading and one I can see. However, you can measure your body fat %, Body Water, Bone Mass. Isn't it enough to be depressed when you see the weight? Why add the others into the mix so early in the morning?

My favorite thing about my scale, other than it works, is the sticker on it. "Use of this scale by persons with any electrical implant such as a heart pacemaker or by pregnant women, is not recommended."

I get the lithium battery/pacemaker connection (okay, I can't, but can), but lithium battery/pregnancy? I'm not seeing it.

Either way, the warning label made me chuckle. Unfortunately, my weight on the scale didn't.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Rant and Rave Wednesday

Wednesday, July 29, 2009....

Any readers following me on a regular basis know if it's Wednesday, it's time to Rant and Rave about the past week. Without further adieu, here are my Rants and Raves from the past week:

Rant: I have one RANT and it lasted all last week - pain from injured back rib fracture. In addition to my pain, I enjoyed puking from the pain and being the ultimate pleasure princess to be around. I sucked in human behavior.

Rave: Wonderful friends, family and hubby who reached out to me last week, brought me flowers and took great care of me.

Rave: Caller ID. Yupper. It is the best invention and saved me from losing friends due to the fact I was such an ass last week.

Rave: Taking a long hot/warm shower and drying off with the most amazing thick cotton towel. Yeah, sounds lame, but showering last week sucked. The first enjoyable shower is like magic.

Rave: Great dinner party I had the Saturday before I became useless. It was great to see friends from all over the globe that I've known for so many years. I may make this an annual dinner party.

Rave: Fun brunch that I hosted the next day with some other friends to celebrate birthdays. Breakfast food + champagne = YUMBO...

Since I've been laying low, that's it for me for the past week. How was your week? Any Rants and Raves you want to share? I would love to hear them or if you're doing your own Rant & Rave Wednesday, put your link in the comments section so others can read.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

I'm Mad at the Canadians

Tuesday, July 28, 2009....

Why? Curling.

Last week, I was watching Hell's Kitchen and the grand prize is to be the chef at some fancy resort (name escapes me) in Canada where the 2010 Winter Olympics will be held.

During the last Winter Olympics, Curling was introduced into the mix of events and this is all I heard from my sister -- "I can win a medal, how hard is Curling?"

Everyday, several times a day, the conversation would revert back to her being a gold medalist. Here's the rub, she's never played and she has already won the medal in her mind.

I can only imagine the coverage Curling will get as the 2010 Winter Olympics will be held in Canada. For me, this means I will be hearing SEVERAL thousand times how she could do this, how she'd win, blah, blah, blah...

After the last Winter Olympics, it was agreed upon that the only way she'd could go on-and-on about her imaginary Olympic win is to play it. Otherwise, not one peep.

Recently, she met a woman in one of her golf leagues (yeah, you can do that if single with no kids - wait, I have no kids, but don't have the patience) who is on a Curling team in NJ. It starts up in October which is right after golf season and before ski season. I could be screwed.

She could actually go to the rink, sweep it and then have free rein to call and torture me for 17 days. I envision conversations about her winning the medals, what outfits she'd wear and wondering if her hair would hold up in the rink.

However, these conversations are all secondary to the constant statement I'll hear for 17 days straight "Ya know LMB, I could do this. I could be in the Olympics and win a medal".

Damn You Canadians!

Monday, July 27, 2009

I'm No Chuck Norris

Monday, July 27, 2009....

I'd like to thank everyone for their well wishes and for my friend, Poncho Girl, for taking such great care of me last Monday. Hubby was out of town and she was right there to drive me to the medical facility, wait while I got x-rays and listen to me when I was screaming my head off (not, one of my proudest moments).

After x-rays and a cat scan, it turned out that I injured an old fracture. My doctor called on Tuesday to give me the news about the injury and also that the cat scan revealed something more which requires an ultrasound.

What I love about this doctor is that he doesn't hold back. When we were discussing the placement of my original fracture he was stumped as to how I did it. He explained the rib which was fractured was next to impossible to break unless you're an extreme sports person. He shared the story of how his son fractured that same rib as a result of falling off his bike while traveling 30 m.p.h.. Heck, I travel at 30 m.p.h. and faster when in my Passat.

This doctor knows me well after performing 3 surgeries on me and could easily tell me in his politest way he was mystified because I had achieved an injury only an elite athletic could do (me, elite, who knew?).

If I wasn't in such pain, I would have told him that I sleep walk at night and had been known to climb tall trees and pretend to hand glide without the sail. Alas, I was in pain and just focused on getting off the phone.

Since I don't remember the original fracture, I couldn't even tell you what I did to re-injure myself. I can't imagine lifting my Hop, Skip and Go Naked glass caused it.

I'm still stiff, but I can now eat, talk, breathe and not spew words and fire at my poor hubby.

One last note, in addition to thanking Poncho Girl for taking me and insisting that the doctor give me something strong for the pain, I want to say Happy, Happy Birthday!

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Blogging Hiatus

Tuesday, July 21, 2009....

I am in the process of recovering from fractured ribs and will not be blogging for a bit. Well, I could blog, but it would just read OUCH......because that's all I've been saying.

Enjoy the week.

Friday, July 17, 2009

The Viral Meme

I was tagged by Dan over at The Art of Panic for the viral meme floating around. So here goes.

First the rules:

1. Respond and rework. Answer the questions on your blog. Replace one question that you dislike with a question of your invention, and add one more question of your own.

2. Tag other people.

Now the questions:

What are you wearing today? At the moment, yoga pants and a Life is Good t-shirt. I have a lot of cleaning for tomorrow's pot luck to do and hate cleaning. Figured yoga pants = comfort AND may add some possible zen to my day.

What's for dinner? I don't know, but it'll be quick and easy. Besides, it's 10:30 a.m. and dinner is too far away for me to think of.

What would you eat for your last meal? That's a tough one. I love various types of food that you'd never pair together. However, there would be Brussel sprouts, pizza, hot dogs and key lime pie.

What relaxes you most? Depends on the day, where I am and who I'm with. For instance, when I was hiking in the Grand Canyon, stopping to journal and enjoy the day was so relaxing. However, I've been known to relax while cooking or being outside. I guess I relax when I'm just enjoying the moment. Too many times do I let external thoughts ruin the moment.

If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would it be? Wow, only 1 hour - I'd guess I'd be on a massage table

What language do you want to learn? I'll just come out and say it - I SUCK AT LEARNING NEW LANGUAGES. My parents spoke French Canadian (French + a lot of 'r' rolling) and although I took French in school, I couldn't master it. I can understand bits & pieces, but I insult the French when I open my mouth. Personally, I'm still trying to master my native tongue of English and that's enough for me.

What do you love most about where you currently live? The fact that I'm close enough to NYC, but far enough away not to pay the outrageous rents/mortgage to live there. In addition, there are great restaurants, bars and stores all within 2 miles of the beach.

What style is your current home decorated in? Shabby Chic (I hate that term) with a lot of clutter (who knew stacking books would get written up as a decorating must)...

If you were a time traveler what era would you live in? I'm happy now, but would like to visit and observe other time periods - the 1960s, 1800's and 1920's.

What is your favorite color? Not beige.

What is your favorite piece of clothing in your own wardrobe? Yoga pants

What were you doing ten years ago? Working for a small start-up wireless company that eventually went public. I was married (different guy) and probably not happy. Wait, I wasn't.

What are you going to do after this? Clean, clean, clean. least favorite thing....

What are your favorite films? I don't have just one, but here are some that come to mind: Clockwork Orange, When Harry Met Sally, The Jerk, Rebecca, Shawshank Redemption, Dodgeball. I could on, but these are the ones that came to mind first.

What are your favorite books? Any book that makes me lose track of time.

Do you collect anything? Cookbooks and pottery (platters/plates).

What makes you follow a blog? It piques my interest. It could be a witty comment someone made on another blog that leads me to it or a follower of mine that I've checked out.

What was the most enjoyable thing you did today? Don't know too early.

Ann's Question: What makes you comment on a blog? I read many blogs and may comment if the author posted something I liked or if I can contribute to it. Many times I read a blog without commenting.

Amy's Question: What is your favorite thing to do when you have free time? Cook, spend time with friends and family, not clean.

Tonya's Question: What is a talent you wished you had? Some people may not agree with this, but I would like a high metabolism. I believe it a talent to be able to eat what you want without ever worrying about a calorie.

Noelle's Question: If you could go to heaven, who would you see and why? Not a clue. I think I'd be just interested in listening to every one's stories.

Vickie's Question: Who is your favorite actor? Living: Kevin Spacey, Dead: Jimmy Stewart

Kitten's Question: Other than Blogger, Facebook, Twitter, etc. what are your most frequently visited websites? Yahoo. I have an email account there and I catch up on headline news.

SeptemberMom's Question: What was your favorite subject in school? History and Art, but not Art History.

Christy's question: As a child/teen how did you envision your adult life? LOL. Probably nothing like this. At 35, everything changed.

Dan from Art of Panic's Question: How much time do you spend on your average blog post? Varies and depends upon if I get interrupted. Today, I started at 9:00 a.m but 3 phone calls later, finally got to sit down and write at 10:20.

My Question: If you could would you want to control the weather? NO WAY. I don't care if it were to squash hurricanes out at sea.


Time to tag...



Thursday, July 16, 2009

Summer Edition of Cooking Experiment

July 16, 2009....

Last month, I blogged about a little experiment I'm doing (Crazy Ass Cookbook Experiment) and have to admit that I love it.

I love it in theory and in practice. But, here's the rub: I haven't been so good at the practice part. It's not that I still don't have the desire, but I guess it's true what they say about cooking when it's warm out and I own a great Weber grill. Wait, not using the grill as much as I just implied in the last sentence, so I'll just say I've adopted what many magazine publishers do during the summer months - one edition for 2 months.

As I'm still completing the recipes I picked out for June, I can tell you from what I've done, Jacques Pepin is the MAN.

He can take 3 ingredients and create a tasty recipe which is harder than it sounds. For instance, mustard greens + hot Italian sausage + onions = yummy dish [Note: dirt loves to cling to mustard greens so clean well unless you like the taste of dirt, if so, I promise I won't judge].

The books I chose for June/July and what appears to be August are:

1. More Fast Food My Way (Jacques Pepin): It should be noted I have his first Fast Food My Way book, but it is way down in one of my stacks of cookbooks (yes, I said stacks). What I loved about the recipes I've prepared is that they are quick and easy, but still good. However, I did make one dish, Cod in Olive Tomato Crust, and made the fatal error of using sun dried tomatoes packed in a SEASONED oil. Combine salty sun dried tomatoes and black olives and you have instant salt on a plate. In fairness to Jacques, I will be redoing this recipe using unseasoned tomatoes.

What appealed to me about this book is that he either used ingredients I've never had before [mustard greens (give me a break, mom had a repertoire of meals that were repeated each week and mustard greens never made it into the rotation)] or used in a very different way (cooking lettuce is new to me and I have yet to make that recipe).

Recipes from the book I selected: Scallops Grenobloise (excellent, but made modifications because hubby hates mushrooms and couldn't be bothered with making croutons), Cod in Olive Tomato Crust (this is do over for me), Curly Mustard Greens with Hot Sausage (yummy), Rigatoni with Lettuce & Eggplant (yet to make).

2. Best of Food & Wine 2009: I've only made one of the recipes I selected, but it made a great rub for the meat and I made some extra and have used the rub to spice up other dishes and found it yummy when used in hash browns. However, I modified a recipe because of time (yeah, still working on learning to leave enough prep time), but loved the concept (use zucchini and yellow squash to make linguine).

Zucchini & yellow squash as linguine is genius! Me trying to figure out how to use my mandoline on the julienne setting is just crazy talk. Ugh...I actually pulled out a peeler and cut them lengthwise so they'd be thinner strips. Sure I didn't blanch them as the recipe called for, but sauteing with oil and lemon and adding goat cheese created a really yummy dish.

I have to admit the veggies kept their firmness like a noodle and absorbed the flavors of the oil, lemon, etc.. I made this dish for a friend and raved about it later to hubby who was such a skeptic that I made zucchini linguine again (but changed the recipe to make with garlic and Parmesan cheese).

To make a long story short, try this. Summer squashes are in season (zucchini works better) and veggies are good for you.

Recipes I selected from F&W 2009 are: Crisp tomato, Zucchini & Eggplant Bread Gratin (yet to make), Squash & Zucchini Linguine with Goat Cheese (didn't really follow so will probably do again), Grilled Skirt Steak with Chimichurri Sauce (yet to do) and Mexican Spice Rubbed Rib Eyes with Lime Butter (yummy)

3. Gourmet Magazine, June 2009: Again, slacker with these recipes. I made 1 out of 4, but really enjoyed the Chipotle Pork Cheeseburgers and realized with some minor, if any, modifications this recipe could work using ground turkey.

Recipes I selected from this issue of Gourmet (btw, a bit saddened because I believe my subscription ran out and can't justify while unemployed the expense of renewing when I own so many cookbooks. Sniff, sniff): Grilled Zucchini Pasta with Pecorino Walnut Crumble (yet to try, but sounds fab-u-lous), Chipotle Pork Cheeseburgers, Warm Quinoa Salad with Grilled Veggies & Fresh Cheese (yet to make and I have high hopes since my last quinoa recipe fell short), Seasoned Fried Chicken (yet to make and it should be noted, it's not a breaded chicken).

4. Bon Appetit, Fast & Fresh: 2 out of 4 recipes and have to admit, one of them, SUCKED. Remember I mentioned I was in awe of Jacques' ability to throw 3 ingredients together to make a memorable dish, well, sometimes 3 ingredients thrown together is just 3 ingredients.

Pancetta Green Beans = pancetta + butter + green beans. When I picked the recipe I was swayed by the title and had not read the ingredients. When I went to make the recipe, I was baffled and wondered why no shallot or onion. I added it to the recipe because it needed it and yet I'd still never make again. I felt as though this recipe was created to fill the pages of the book and no real tasting went on. I know that was harsh.

The other recipe I tried, Grilled Corn with Smoked Paprika Butter was simple and I liked the flavor of the butter (the recipe was the butter). It was nice to give butter a little lift for my corn. I'd make again.

The recipes I selected from Bon Appetit's Fast Easy Fresh are: Pancetta Green Beans (don't bother), Grilled Corn with Smoked Paprika Butter (I'd do again), Spinach & Leek Gratin with Roquefort Crumble Topping (yet to make, but sounds promising) and Green Beans with Walnuts & Walnut Oil (yet to make and a bit nervous that it too will fall flat)

5. Bon Appetit's Keep It Simple: 1 out of 4 recipes made and it was another green bean recipe. It didn't fall as flat as the last one, but I wouldn't make again. My husband and gf enjoyed, but I think they enjoyed other parts of the meal better (I don't believe seconds were taken on this dish).

The recipes I selected from Bon Appetit's Keep It Simple are: Rice Pilaf with Spinach & Caramelized Onions (yet to make), Creamy Scrambled Eggs with Asparagus and Goat Cheese (yet to make), Warm Spinach Salad with Parmesan Toast (yet to make) and Sauteed Green Beans with Shallots (hmmm...made and I'd pass although shallots and balsamic vinegar made this interesting).

6. Cooking @Home, The CIA 2 out of 4 recipes made and loved both.

The Chicken Paillards with Orange Thyme Butter was quick and easy (the recipe is the butter you put on top of the grilled chicken) and gave a nice flavor to the chicken. I'd make again.

The other recipe I made was Risotto with Asparagus Tips. I haven't met a risotto I haven't liked and this was both easy and provided me with a veggie (I struggle with incorporating enough fruit & veggies into diet and look for any ways to do this - okay, I digressed enough). My point is that I'd make again.

The recipes I selected from the CIA book are: Chicken Paillards with Orange-Thyme Butter, Fettuccine with Puttanesca Sauce (yet to make), Potato Pancakes (yet to make) and Risotto with Asparagus Tips.

I'd have to rank Jacques book my favorite, then F&W 2009, then CIA, then Gourmet Magazine,then Bon Appetit's Keep it Simple and then Bon Appetit's Fresh, Fast, Easy (solely based on poor Pancetta Green Bean recipe).

In the past month, I've gotten better about my timing and able to have all components of the meal finished at the same time. Yay for a hot meal!

Next time, I'm thinking of using some of my cookbooks written by the Food Network stars.

Bon Appetit!

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Rant and Rave Wednesday

Wednesday, July 15, 2009....

Any readers following me on a regular basis know if it's Wednesday, it's time to Rant and Rave about the past week. Without further adieu, here are my Rants and Raves from the past week:

Rave: Learning that 20 minutes daily in the sun without sunscreen is all the body needs to get its daily dose of Vitamin D. I'm all over this one.

Rant: A woodchuck has eaten the brussel sprouts at one of the gardens my husband planted (this one is not at my house).

Rave: Listening to my husband devise plans of how he's going to get the woodchuck and then hearing him tell me as we're on the phone that one has just run by him and is now under his shed safe and sound. This has all the makings of Bill Murray in Caddyshack.

Rave: Loving the great weather. It gives me a reason to appreciate not working at the moment.

Rant: Trying to figure out why I am watching The Bachelorette. I asked my sister this question the other day and she had no answer. Of course, I shouldn't expect one from a person who watches the show also. All sense of logic and reason are thrown out the window.

Rave: Got to hang out with a friend at B&N the other night and was able to indulge in one of my favorite past times with books - reading the ending.

Rave: Huge dinner thingy at my house this weekend with gfs from high school. We made it a weekend last year, but I don't have the room to host 9 people. It'll be fun. Most live in CT, but one is coming in from RI and the other Egypt. I am hoping my friend remembers to bring the ingredients for the Hop, Skip and Go Naked Drink. YUMMMMMYYYY....

So, how was your week? Any Rants and Raves you want to share? I would love to hear them or if you're doing your own Rant & Rave Wednesday, put your link in the comments section so others can read.

Friday, July 10, 2009

My Own Personal Groundhog Day

Monday, July 14, 2009....

In May 2008, I was laid off from my employer. During the first month, I interviewed with a particular company and received a summons for jury duty (I didn't have to serve).

Fast forward one year and I find I am still unemployed, but the weirdest thing happened. I had a repeat of last year.

I applied for and recently interviewed at that first company and received another summons for jury duty.

In fact, I interviewed again with 2 out of the same 3 people. How odd is that? The recruiter hadn't a clue about this because it was a different recruiter from last year. I think she was a bit surprised when I mentioned this to her because they hadn't said a word to her.

I have to admit, there was a part of me that hoped they didn't remember interviewing me (it could be because they didn't hire me last year - not enough industry experience), but a part that had hoped they remembered me because it means I would have left some impression on them. Turns out, they remembered.

Summons for jury duty canceled again.

These 2 instances left me wondering if my life was going to mimic the movie Groundhog Day. Was I going to live the same year over and over again? If so, what is my lesson? What is my a-ha moment that has me moving into a new year, new future?

I'm glad I'm not in the same mental place I was last year. Sure, I was wish I was financially in the same place last year, but I've learned a lot that I don't think I would have learned if employed full-time.

I'm a girl that hasn't figured out the concept of balance and have a tendency to ignore one part of my life. When I was working, I had a reason to ignore my personal life. It was just easier than having to take the time to figure out what I needed to be happy.

I've always known I'm not perfect (I'm close - NOT), but in the past, I never wanted to forgive my flaws or even acknowledge they are part of who I am. Now I do. I recognize the good, bad and ugly make up me.

I'm still learning patience, but have learned that before you feel the need to offer unsolicited advice to others, look at oneself first (translation, I think most everyone need to learn their own lessons). I'm not as impatient as I was 12 months ago, but consider this a work in progress.

I haven't a clue what the future holds for me, but until I become gainfully employed, I will use this gift of time to listen to all the things I've tried to ignore because I didn't know what to do or how to fix it. I'll probably become frustrated, stumble, fall and may even be successful. But, whatever happens, I know that I'm finally looking in a mirror not just glancing at me.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Rant and Rave Wednesday

Wednesday, July 8, 2009....

Any readers following me on a regular basis know if it's Wednesday, it's time to Rant and Rave about the past week. Without further adieu, here are my Rants and Raves from the past week:

Rant & Rave: Insomnia - it's come back, but luckily not to the extent it was like several months ago.

Rave: It had been several months since I've worn my interview suit, and today when I put it on, I noticed the jacket was a bit loose since the last time.

Rave: I had 2 willing tasters to partake in my crazy-ass cookbook cooking experiment. It also means friends came to dinner.

Rave: I had cute hair today for my interview. Most guys wouldn't understand or appreciate the importance of having cute hair, but most women do.

Rant: Still working through June's recipes for the crazy-ass cookbook experiment and it's the 8th of July. At this pace, I'll never get through my cookbook collection before the age of 90.

Rave: FABULOUS WEATHER here in CT....

So, how was your week? Any Rants and Raves you want to share? I would love to hear them or if you're doing your own Rant & Rave Wednesday, put your link in the comments section so others can read.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009


Tuesday, July 7, 2009.....

I just found out that my soon to be ex-neighbor is marketing himself off as a life coach claiming that Positive Psychology and boundless energy will focus one's spirit breaking thorough old barriers and behaviors that didn't work.


He's so full of shit.

For years, I have lived next door to him and his wife, but with their upcoming divorce he has moved out and the house is on the market.

Before he makes these claims, he needs to re-examine his behaviors and change them. Although I find both pleasant, I don't trust either one and they have given a new meaning to the term bad neighbor.

Here are some examples of why I wouldn't trust this man to redirect my life:

- I would never use neighbor's lawn mower, tools or equipment without asking first. If I continually used them, I would offer to have them sharpened since I would be the *A* hole that ruined them while neighbor was hospitalized and recuperating from multiple surgeries.

- If my neighbor took care of my son for weeks at a time and I claimed I would provide the labor to replace neighbor's front door, I'd do it. Not 1/2 ass it.

- I would never tell my party guests to use my neighbor's yard as a public urinal or ashtray because I don't like people smoking in my yard (p.s. neighbor doesn't smoke or pee in her yard either).

- I would not ask neighbor if tree bordering property can be taken down and then go into the middle of neighbor's yard when neighbor is gone and pull down a tree that bothers me because I am undergoing some treatment for some psych disorder.

- I would not steal my neighbor's shopvac and keep in garage for neighbor to discover when she has just returned from a 7 day hospital stay & surgery. Only reason neighbor noticed or cared is that neighbor's sister lent her the shopvac and wanted it back.

There are so many other things that lead me to believe he needs the life coach and should not be giving any advice EVER.

However, if you want to learn how to be a complete DICK of a neighbor let me know. I imagine he's available and would give great guidance.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Simple Things....

Monday, July, 6, 2009....

Some days I find that I get so caught up in what I don't have, like to have or need and sometimes forget it the smallest things that will put a smile on my face.

Today, I was reminded of this when I opened my new toothbrush. I can't explain why, but I have this protective attachment to my toothbrush and WILL NOT share. I don't care if you're the love of my life, it's just not going to happen.

I also get a smile on my face when I sleep on new sheets or get a fountain soda with the right amount of ice for me - A LOT.

Granted, there are things I long for - 3 months cooking my way through Italy or a larger kitchen, but until these things happen, I'm happy for just the small things.

Friday, July 3, 2009

Party Like it's 1945....

Friday, July 3, 2009...

Yeah, I wrote 1945. No mistake.

Several months ago, I discovered the most revered book in my parents' home Etiquette by Emily Post. I say revered because mom would always tell us to refer to Emily for the burning holiday questions (e.g. how to properly set the table, do you pass both the salt & pepper, ya know, stuff that will solve all the problems for world peace).

I thought this holiday weekend, I would share some of Emily's knowledge to ensure that you don't become a total social misfit, outcast or ass at a friend's house.

I've selected what I believe to be invaluable information (a.k.a. stuff you'd never need to know in today's world or really pointless crap).

1. What You Should Do When Presented With Food That is Difficult to Eat: According to EP, her list was insanely long. Seriously, if I eliminated the difficult food list group out of my diet, I'd be left with only water because bread made the list.

Out of her list, I'm only going to address Removing Bones, Pits, and Seeds - By Mouth because I personally love to just spit my watermelon pits out on the ground (as a kid it was at my nearest sibling). According to EP, I'm wrong. I know you're shocked. You need to eat the pits and seeds until clean and drop them into your cupped fist and then onto plate.

2. How to Picnic: To summarize EP, stuffed cold eggs are better than just plain cold eggs (note: eggs need to be wrapped in waxed paper), make 3 sandwich varieties, never let anyone make their own sandwich - too messy. Basically, EP states that everything is to be neatly wrapped and labeled. Anything used must be able to be burned. She mentions several times how important it is to burn everything. I'm wondering if she was a pyro?

3. Chaperons: Any single female and under the age of 30 needs to bring her chaperon to the party and meet your man there. Apparently, it is just wrong for a woman to be alone. However, if you do, remember you may be risking your reputation and be considered a tart.

This book cracks me up. I'm not sure if it's the archaic rules or the titles (e.g., skin absorbs, Golden shower, a man's bundle or how a poor man can take out a girl). There is even a specific section for visiting Washington D.C.

Remember, ugly manners make bad guests. Please remember to burn all plate ware. If you hosts asks why he/she has to call the fire department, just tell them EP told you to.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Rant and Rave Wednesday

Wednesday, July 1, 2009....

Any readers following me on a regular basis know if it's Wednesday, it's time to Rant and Rave about the past week. Without further adieu, here are my Rants and Raves from the past week:

Rave: I'll start with the obvious in my world. Last week I mentioned how snarky I was during a phone interview when I was in the throws of Brain Fog....well, I guess I wasn't that snarky. I got called in to interview with the hiring manager next week.

Rave?/Rant: It's July 1st! Half of 2009 is gone and I'm not sure where it went.

Rant: Spent a boat load of time cleaning the fridge out only to have it overcrowded after one shopping trip. Ugh....If I only I could exist on yogurt and water, I'd have a clean fridge 24/7.

Rave: Used lettuce from my garden. First veggie garden grown as an adult.

Rave: A few decent days have broken up the endless days of rain. More rain is expected, but I'm hoping the Weather Channel is wrong.

So, how was your week? Oddly enough, no rude people this week, which I love. Any Rants and Raves you want to share? I would love to hear them or if you're doing your own Rant & Rave Wednesday, put your link in the comments section so others can read.