Friday, August 29, 2008

Special Event.....

Friday, August 29, 2008.....

My sister is planning a surprise bridal day for me. It is not a shower and not a bachlorette type party, but she has given me no hints.

I should back up.... My sister loves surprises and I like to figure out what it is. As kids, I would always find the wrapped Christmas gifts, open them and re-wrap them. Not my sister. I swear she could be happy with a box of wrapped-up shit, as long as it was a surprise (I have yet to test this theory out on her and may one day do so).

Every time she goes away or around my birthday, she'll call me and say I got you a "surcee" (not a clue if a real word, but we define it as a surprise). I always ask "what, what"....on the flip, I'll call her up and say, I got you a surcee, want to know what it is? She will always say no, so I love to drop hints. Sometimes the hints are cryptic, but not really.

The only thing I know is that the event is Oct 4th, people are showing up at my house at 2:15 and she'll tell me later what the dress code is (suggested going naked, but I don't think my AAA bail card will cover that arrest). I figure a dress code, afternoon event it has to be Paint Ball. I've never done this. However, I have to ask myself, is pelting a bride-to-be with paint balls in the Martha Stewart Wedding Book? Would Emily Post approve? Hmmmmm......

Here's the rub, she leaves tomorrow for France (update on language skills, she's learned nothing else except "I see the large truck" the words for "grapefruit" and "condoms" because of some nightmare project at her job -- see, being unemployed and poor does have its benefits)and I'm not sure if she'll find her hotel, a restaurant or be able to get home. What I do know, is I can't play 10,000 questions with her (I know it's 20 questions, but I'm a youngest and take liberties). She has made my friends swear not to tell me. I think if I threatened my friend Sue to tell me or I'll steal all the moss in her yard for my walkway, she'll fold like a deck of cards. Not. Sue, is a kick ass athlete and she could just swat me like a fly.

So, for the moment, I believe that my sister is celebrating my upcoming nuptial with a PaintBall event....Hmmmm....

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Weekend with Friends.....

Tuesday, August 26, 2008.....

This past weekend was a definite blast. I don't think 8 people laughed as hard as we did for as long as we did. I'm proud of the moment on Saturday when my friend's neighbor came to tell her that she was going to being heading out for the evening to babysit her grandchild.

In addition to the non-stop laughter, here are the top 14 things I learned this weekend:

1) I learned a new language...okay, okay, some new words. Apparently, these words are real, but I have my doubts. One of my girlfriends used to add in some of HER words into the mix of Italian ones when we were kids. I hadn't a clue. I believed her until she fessed up one day. I'd share some of the words with you, but have forgotten them already.

2) Labelling is a bad thing. In high school, we had class groups divided out by "intelligence" (I use loosely because I was in one of those "0" level classes and somedays wonder if I have a clue). However, one of our friends wasn't in the "O" group and I don't know or care what group she was in. However, it seems as though this may have, and possibly still, bothers her. We never thought of her differently. My friend was a jock and HATED school. It wasn't her thing, but we never considered her dumb. I just knew that math wasn't her thing. Today as we look back, what the hell do you really use from high school? Seriously, useful classes could be, how to pick the right fund for your 401k or how to deal with obnoxious neighbors. Algebra, AP Chemistry have never helped me in life. However, once my friend mentioned that she hated labelling, we would call her out every time she labelled someone.

3) I learned that you don't tell your friends that you were upset when you asked your other friends to describe you in one word. Almost everyone used the word "fun" to describe her. She told us sent out an email to all her friends asking them to send back the one word that describes her. Her fatal mistake was sharing this story with us after several Hop, Skip and Go Naked drinks (yumbo drinks) and the fact that none of us received this email. We accused her of labelling us her B-List friends. We received her email Monday morning, we shared our one word with the entire group, not just her. Unlike her "A-List" friends, we didn't choose "fun", obviously can't follow rules as B-Listers, but the suggestions among the group made me laugh.

4) Skinny Cow is a yummy treat, but offensive name. My friend is going to take up a cause and convince the company to change the name. Not sure if she'll get results, but am looking forward to it.

5) Tiaras are really to only be worn for the following reasons - 1) if you're under the age of 10; 2) a queen; or 3) a drag queen. I know some women wear them when getting married, so I may include that, but not really. Don't know, never found out why, but one of our friends was carrying a tiara with her in her purse...and wore it....

6) There are over 547 reasons not to own a dog according to one of my friends (I should mention that she has 2 kids, a gecko that requires live crickets and a guinea pig). Personally, I think the only reason for her would be that it'd push her over the edge.

7) Saving $56/month for turning off central air turns out to be something like $1.15/day --- for a $1.15, it is worth it to be in comfort. I will never have to perform that crazy experiment thanks to my friend.

8) Reason some of my friends cut class for....OMG....square dancing....dorks. I did not know this fact and told them to keep it to themselves and NEVER share this fact with their kids. Parents have a hard enough time convincing their kids they are not the biggest dorks on the planet, however, armed with this fact, they'll make their case.

9) I finally learned why TMobile sucks on the car ride home. However, whenever their name was mentioned throughout the weekend, I just saw a lot of hand moments and unknown words were used.

10) Never violate some people's personal space. It could be dangerous.

11) I thought my quirk of feeling the need to fill ice cubes trays at any person's house I go to is odd, but changing toilet paper EVERYWHERE (includes rest stops and restaurants in additional to personal homes) trumps my quirk any day.

12) Homemade tiaras = corpse bride tiara which I proudly wore during dinner.

13) Field Show Performers is the code word for "band". I figured 25 years after high school I didn't have to be tortured with one more band story (wasn't in the band). I told them, shots were in order if it came up and one clever friend changed the word 'band' to 'field show performers'. Since this was a mouthful to say, the topic wasn't talked about as much.

All in all, I learned that even though we don't see each other as much as we'd like to, it is great when we do. Sure we talk about the past, but we do talk about the present and also talk alot about nothing.

I see future getaways in our future and look forward to them.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Counting Down Days Till Weekend.....

Monday, August 18, 2008....

I know it's only Monday, yet I can't wait for Friday. This weekend marks the 2nd get together of my high school friends for a weekend of drinking and catching up. We did this several years ago, when we were turning 40, now we are getting together to celebrate my upcoming wedding (that's what I've been told). Personally, I don't think a reason is needed, but if it takes a reason for us to get together, then I'd be happy to come up with them (except, when the time comes, I will leave out "Welcome to Menopause" as a reason to celebrate).

Last time we trekked to the Jersey shore, but this time one of my friends volunteered her home in RI. It is such a great home, with the back yard rolling down to a bay. It's also great that a friend that couldn't make it last time, can this time, but am saddened that another friend couldn't because she just moved to Egypt. Another is flying up....all in all, everyone is excited.

Our host has set up a really cool page with pics from our last event and listed events (which only include eating, drinking and vegging - perfect) and accommodations (colorful descriptions of the various rooms in her home)...

Eight friends, several blenders and a breeze off the bay...who could ask for more.


Saturday, August 16, 2008

Recap...My Week with Clyde

Saturday, August 16, 2008.....

The week of dogsitting is over. I'm a bit saddened by it. Clyde, although a prince, was an incredibly sweet dog. During his stint at doggie day camp, a.k.a my house, this is what I learned:

- Dogs can be high maintenance even when they look low maintenance (Clyde had a very sweet face) --- wet lawns = "you're crazy if you think I'm getting my delicate paws wet"

- I didn't know I was so fascinating. I have to let my fiance in on this secret...although, I don't want him to follow me from room to room. Even by week's end, Clyde still felt the need to try to follow me into my bathroom {note: this did not happen, privacy and the fact I have a 4x5 bathroom would be the reasons}

- Dog parks are great; small dogs have napolean complexes just like some little men do. I live near a great dog park and we met some great dogs (black lab, rotties, labadoodle), but it was the short little sausage dog that gave us attitude and snapped at Clyde's nose. They always say pets look like their owners, and, in this case, it was true.

- Clyde is smarter than I thought. When I went to pick up my wedding invites yesterday, I left him at home. I closed the bedroom, office and bathroom doors. When I got home, no Clyde to be found. My first thought, OMG, I lost this dog. I was dog sitting for a friend who was the main dog sitter (best example of outsourcing I've seen to date). However, she left Clyde alone for a couple of hours and Clyde voiced his discomfort at being alone. The neighbors left her a note and came over to talk to her about his barking. I really thought Clyde would be barking when I got home because of this story, but nothing. My thoughts began to trail did he get out and where did he go? Turns out that Clyde was in the bathroom. He remembered that I would close the door on him for privacy and probably figured I was behind the closed door. He headbutted his way in and because I have a very small bathroom (thank you 1949 CT Cape Cod houses) he probably closed the door by trying to move around in the room.

Clyde is very lovable and it reinforces how much I miss having a pet.


Friday, August 15, 2008

Can't Decide on Title of Entry....

Friday, August 15, 2008......

Last night, X38 and I (X38 is a friend) go to meet up with X34 (another friend) to celebrate X34's birthday. As X38 and I were returning to her car, we got on the subject of her dating life. Both of us had been married, both divorced and both tried online dating. Online dating can be annoying. It gives some people the right to create a false identity or feel entitled to throw all manners out the window. I should mention it can also work. I know many people who met online and married (I met my fiance online, so I know it can work).

While at the bar, one of X34's friends tried talking up his friend to X38. X38 and I met this friend last Christmas at a party and he was nondescript. In fact, I knew he was single and tried to include him in my conversation with X38 because they were both single. I didn't know him, but figured if he was a friend of X34's he's probably okay. All my attempts failed. I asked questions that only he could answer and nothing. His responses were pretty much one word answers. After several attempts he moved on. X38 and I looked at each other, figuring he had no interest in X38. Apparently, this was not the case.

We later learned that he really liked her, but the JERK told my friend X34, and others, that I was a "cock block" and he couldn't talk to her. What an ASS!

When his name was mentioned as a potential candidate for X38 last night,she said thanks, but no thanks. She explained that she had met him last Christmas and went into the whole story adding the fact she had heard he was always negative (seriously, who wants to date Eoyore?). Little did my friend X38 know that "Eoyore" was a good friend of his. However, I'm glad she told him what he did. Maybe, he'll now grow a set of balls and learn how to talk to women he is interested in. This, of course, led to the real discussion between X38 and me..."Where are the men with balls?"

My fiance has them. He's confident. I had no doubt that he was interested, however, many men are afraid to let women know their feelings.

X38 wanted to rewrite her profile to ask that only men with BALLS contact her. After a good laugh, we decided that may not be a good idea. It might just enlarge the pool of weirdos....


Tuesday, August 12, 2008


Tuesday, August 12, 2008.....

For people, such as my sister, who think that the Martha Stewart Gardening issue is a waste of an issue, read no further. However, if you like to garden, maybe you can help me.

I have a flagstone path. It's lovely. Actually, it could be if there was no crabgrass growing in the cracks. I have it in my head that moss should be in its place. I've read that you can create moss by spraying the area you want with a mixture of 1 qt of buttermilk with a gallon of water.

Has anyone ever heard of such a thing?


Prince Clyde

Tuesday, August 12, 2008.....

Clyde will be coming to my house for the rest of the week. He is truly a sweet dog, but man, is he high maintenance.

He can not be alone. He followed me where ever I went in my very small house. I now know how my friends with toddlers felt when trying to get a little privacy in the bathroom. Clyde would have come in the room with me, if I had let him.

He also doesn't like to get his paws wet. We went outside after the storm, he did his business and immediately turned around to come in. Earlier, when dry out, he was enjoying the outdoors.

At the end of the day, I forced him to come out with me again. The rain had stopped, it had been sunny for a spell and things were drying up. He decides that the middle of the street is the perfect place to stand for a bit and then plop himself down to rest. Never mind any passing cars. Luckily, my street is not very busy, but still a car did go around him. I think I was in shock at how bold this dog was. After the car, I promptly moved him. It was obvious that moving cars, things that could kill him were of no importance to him.

Clyde is a very sweet dog. I guess having had a cat for 18 years made me forget that animals really do love to be with humans. All.... The.... Time.

Monday, August 11, 2008


Monday, August 11, 2008.....

Today, I am expecting a visit from Clyde. I have never met him, but am looking forward to spending the day with him. Clyde is a cockapoo that I'll be dogsitting for a friend, who is dogsitting him for the next couple of days. I know it sounds a bit screwy, but she's in a jam.

When my friend lived at a previous address, she used to dog sit all the time. Now that she's moved, she's only agreed to sit for one dog. However, she didn't realize how much he hates to be alone until yesterday. She went out for the afternoon only to return to a letter and a knock on her door from a "concerned" neighbor because Clyde was barking. They thought the animal to be in distress.

Dogs bark. If they bark during the day, then fine. When my neighbor's dogs bark all at once, it actually makes me laugh. Some howl, others just bark, but it is really rather funny (they are all going off now as I post this blog).

She was in a panic and knowing I'm unemployed and love animals, she asked if I could dog sit. I said sure. If the weather holds up, I think we go to the dog friendly park down the street from my house. If not, we'll hold up in the house. Whatever we do, I don't see my neighbors complaining about the noise.


Friday, August 8, 2008

10 Things to Never Do at a Wedding

Friday, August 8, 2008.....

I couldn't resist. I came across this article on Yahoo! and decided to post with my comments. Seriously, are people really stupid enough to complain to the bride about the food?


10 Things to Never Do at a Wedding
By Rita Mauceri and Elycia Rubin

The day two people exchange vows may not be your special day, but it's someone's special day, so be on your best behavior -- all the way from the I -do's to the obligatory Gloria Gaynor dance marathon...

1. Don't Be Fashionably Late As the song says, get to the church on time! Allow enough time to get to there 15 minutes early or more no matter what weather, traffic, or other acts of divine intervention pop up. Print out directions to both the ceremony and the reception (if it's at a different location). Many a wedding has been hampered by guests who got lost and showed up an hour late.

{Since I’m getting married at the reception location, I will instruct the captain (person I go to with problems the day of the event) not to let anyone in after 15 minutes from designated start time. They will have to wait for ceremony to be over before being permitted in for cocktails}

2. Don't Produce Sound Effects While at a wedding and reception, turn off your Blackberries and cell phones, put them on vibrate, or better yet, don't even take them!

{Seriously. Is this an issue?}

3. Don't Talk Trash It may sound obvious, but it happens all the time. No matter how big or how loud a wedding is, things get overheard. So, be on your best and most polite behavior. No gossip about any of the other guests. No complaining out loud about anything -- whether it's the food or the long line at the ladies' room. And no comparisons to other weddings! As far as the bride and groom are concerned, this is a perfect day, and so it should be!

{Okay, has anyone ever been to a wedding where you don’t hear trash being talked about??? That is the reason I’ve chosen not to have video cameras}

4. Don't Come Bearing Gifts Whether you're planning on gifting the happy couple a Cuisinart or cold hard cash, do them a huge favor and don't bring it on the wedding day. If you do, they have to keep track of it and haul it home at the end of the night. Send the gift ahead of time, or after the actual ceremony -- at a time when they can really relax and enjoy it.

{I guess that could be an issue for some people.}

5. Don't Dress Down Whatever you choose to wear, make the effort to look your best for the bride and groom. They'll appreciate that you got dolled or duded up for the occasion. If the invitation doesn't specify dress code, put in a friendly email or call to the bride, groom, their parents, or attendants to get more info. Black Tie means you've got to dust off that long silk dress or rent a tux. If it's an outdoor affair, there may be more leeway, but get details on the location, so you can come prepared (because it's isn't fun to be traipsing around in the sand in your stilettos!).

{Do you really have to tell an adult how to dress? However, my feeling is this, I’m inviting the person, I really want you there and quite frankly, I’m not going to notice how you dress unless in a wedding gown. However, I can almost guarantee, if you don’t dress appropriately, others may violate Rule 3 above and talk trash about you.}

6. Don't Bring Mr. or Ms. Random If you're single, choose your date carefully. If it's someone you've only been out with once, it may not be the best idea (could be awkward for you, your date, and the newlyweds). Same if it's someone you recently "sort of" broke up with. Weddings are intimate affairs and bringing in a stranger should be done with thought. Let the bride or groom know if you decide to come alone so they can seat you with other fun "ones!" And as much as you may love your kiddos, don't take them if children aren't invited.

{If the invitation allows you to bring a guest, then bring whomever you choose. However, if it doesn’t, don’t bring one. In a previous life, when married, I was invited to a wedding, but my spouse wasn’t. I actually had to check to see if oversight, it wasn’t. It is sometimes tough going to a wedding where you really don’t know a soul, bring someone (date or friend) that will enjoy the event with you, has manners and doesn’t cause drama}

7. Don't Steal the Show Wedding ceremonies take all forms -- from religious to poetic, musical, or humorous. Whatever the vibe, let the bride and groom set the tone and follow their lead. If you're normally a loud, life-of-the-party type, bring it down a notch and let the wedding couple stand out. If you're a weeper, bring tissues and sit where you can sob without disturbing the I Do's. If the ceremony includes religious rituals, find out what you should do (or not do) ahead of time.

{Oh please…if you’re going to steal the show…leave or the captain will throw you out, but not before I recommend you read Emily Post’s Etiquette book}

8. Don't Pig Out If food is serve-yourself, avoid the buffet line stampede and wait until the crowd dies down. Also, avoid going back for thirds. Take a break and save room for cake! Seconds might be okay, once you've seen that everyone has eaten. If the food is served sit-down, eat what is served without requesting substitutions or omissions, unless you have a food allergy. Otherwise, pick delicately or chow down, but don't gripe that you "don't like fish." Worse comes to worst, you can hit Burger King on the way home!

{Again, my day and I’m not going to notice if you complain. If you do complain, complain to someone else, otherwise, you’ll be talking to my hand. Seriously, we picked out items that we believed could appeal to various people, not just us. If you don’t like what is being served, there are many restaurants and drive-thrus in the area you can go to after the event.}

9. Don't Drag Out Skeletons If the bride blushes, it should be from pride, joy, or sheer love. Not because someone just stood up and told a humiliating story about the loser she dated in high school! Ingratiate yourself to the lady and her groom by avoiding any potentially embarrassing or juvenile behavior -- no bawdy jokes, no tales about their dating habits or exploits, no overdrinking, and no overly sexy dancing. Have fun, but don't have it at anyone else's expense.

{OMG….if you do that, I won’t ask the captain to kick you out, I’ll ask you to leave. Seriously, there is a time and place for everything. Although not quite sure when appropriate to embarrass a good friend....Also, remember, for every story you have on me, I may have 2 on you}

10. Don't Stockpile Party Favors At the end of the night, as you're saying your thank-yous and farewells, avoid the urge to hog all the super-cool (or yummy) party favors! You don't need to take some for people who weren't able to attend. You don't need extras. Take one for yourself, unless someone in the wedding party urges you to do otherwise.

{Sorry, no favors at my wedding – just flowers, too hard to hog them}

Thursday, August 7, 2008

My Fiance Got His Balls on eBay....

Thursday, August 7, 2008....

Yup. It's true. My fiance did get his balls on eBay....granted they were croquet balls, but balls still the same. I know I'm being sophomoric, but if he hadn't been so obsessed on bidding on antique croquet balls, I think I wouldn't have found such pleasure in making that statement.

You have to understand, when I first starting dating my fiance, I brought him to the 2006 annual family b-b-que where playing croquet is part of the activities. He had a set in his attic from childhood and later brought them to my house. I can count on one hand how often we've played since the first time, yet, he became obsessed that his antique set has some flaws. The balls are a bit off and new ones are a must.

This summer I saw a new element in his obsession; bidding of the balls on EBay. He lost several times, but finally won. Now, he's happy because he has his balls courtesy of eBay.....

God, I hate to see what his next EBay obsession will be....


Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Wedding Ceremony....

Wednesday, August 6, 2008.....

God bless my 86 year old father...The one conversation I was dreading having with him was about my ceremony. Not exactly the ceremony, but where the ceremony was going to take place.

My dad is a devote Catholic and I never really wanted to bring up the subject of the ceremony because of this. When I got married the first time, I was much younger and he was paying, so a church wedding was mandatory. I wanted him to walk me down the aisle, but he refused to walk me down the aisle of the small nondenominational chapel, so I was married in the Catholic church. My parents were thrilled because I was marrying a Methodist and being married in the Catholic church meant I'd have to raise our children Catholic. I wonder. If we had had children and raised them outside the Catholic church, say as Methodists, would they have been guaranteed a spot in hell because I raised them outside the Catholic faith????

I have nothing against the Catholic church, however, it should be noted that the church I was married in, they recently had an incident with embezzlement and the priest was convicted to a prison term and the priest that married me, left the priesthood and married a divorced woman.

Put aside all the gossip,here are my issues: 1) annulments; and 2) a church cermony. The concept that I have to pay the church, in addition to my attorney, to tell me my wedding was invalid, is rather nuts. I hate the fact that the marriage and children are declared "invalid". Never quite understood that when you had kids in the picture. Besides, I had a fairly long first marriage and I don't want to pretend that part of my life didn't exist. That's just crazy talk.

So, being a true coward, I wasn't really planning on telling my dad where the ceremony was. I was going to have just show up and he'd find out once he was there. I know how important the church ceremony is to him, but I'm 42 and wanted a low key JP wedding. He asked and was very cool about the whole thing. He actually told me that "I'm an adult and he recognizes that I have my own opinions. If I wanted his, he knows I would have asked". I know, deep down, he's a little upset, but he REALLY likes my fiance and I know that is far more important to him.


Friday, August 1, 2008


Friday, August 1, 2008.....

Today, was my second interview with this company I'd like to work for. I was a bit confused because the first interview was with the hiring manager and this one was with HR. Usually, it is the other way around for me. The HR manager prescreens and then sends me to the hiring manager. So, I'm not too sure of what gives. I couldn't get a great read, but could definitely tell she wasn't repulsed --- that is a definite good sign. However, you ever have those days where everything is topsy-turvy? This has been my day....

It started with the fiance calling me at 6:10 a.m. to say "rabbit-rabbit" on his way to work (for those that don't know..these are the first words that come out of mouth on 1st day of month for good luck). Typically, this wouldn't bother me, but I haven't been sleeping well and I was right in the middle of a dream when his call awoke me (that is the worst). I muttered something, it was probably rude, definitely not rabbit-rabbit and slammed the cellphone shut (if that were a possibility). I ended up falling back to sleep for the extra hour, but am still really exhausted. I forgave the fiance prior to the interview because it is bad karma to be mad prior to any important event and it isn't a situation that warrants staying mad at someone for.

I cut myself with a knife making breakfast, my hair came out horrible and I hit unforeseen traffic on way to the interview .... I was late and had to call. Granted I was 2 minutes late, but, it was still late. Although, I didn't need to call as I waited for 20 minutes (the receptionist didn't call the right desk). When I finally saw the HR person it was after signing away their rights to examine my life and credit history (not quite getting the credit check) and filling out the lengthy work history which was on my resume. It is a bit sad when you have to keep checking the box "involuntary leave" because all the companies, except last one, went under. So technically, is it involuntary if your position is dissolved?

I'm pretty good at reading people, but today, not so good. I'm blaming the eclipse. I won't know a thing till end of next week or the week after, but hoping it is positive.