I've decided to make Thursdays my "Question of the Week" day because I always have questions and am always interested in people's answers.
This Week's Question is: When was the last time you faced and conquered your fear that was within your control?
Some fears you can control, some you can't. When diagnosed with cancer in 2004, I had a fear of the outcome and I did what I could, but had no real control of the outcome.
It was at this point I realized I wanted to control the things I could because I hated feeling powerless. Basically, I didn't want the fear to control me, but me to control it.
Since 2004, I've t some of my fears (e.g., firing a gun) and my conjured up vision of what it was going to be like wasn't even close to the reality of doing it.
Last night I faced or embraced another fear. I joined a writer's group. I've had a fear of writing for others (yeah, I know I have a blog, but I don't face anyone and read my words out loud), always second guessing my abilities and assuming it's not good enough.
I'm glad I went. It's a small group and the moderator is interesting, but the feedback was incredibly helpful and, contrary to what I envisioned, I didn't suck. However, I will admit, years of drafting/amending legal documents does change how you write fiction. I have to shift gears, but it was good to hear that my structure was good, character was one they were pulling for and they were curious to see what happened next.
Whatever happens I know I needed to do this. It will force me to stop making excuses and give myself permission to just write no matter the outcome.
So....When was the last time you faced and conquered your fear that was within your control?
28 comments:
Oh, that is fantastic! I think the writer's group will be an incredible experience. WTG!
My fear was quite similar to yours actually- I feared getting really involved in societies in college. On a whim this year I went to a Journalism meeting, and that night I was elected as an officer of the society! Facing your fears can be a really good thing. :)
I'm headed out of town to attend a writer's conference. Totally unprepared, but feel this might provide the catalyst I need to get back into a writing rhythm. Writing groups are an excellent idea. I hope for good things for yours.
I'm facing a fear right now... I was fired yesterday and hope to be able to take my writing and photography a step further but I'm going to be rejected a million times over.
A writing group would probably be a good thing for me. I've done a photography class but it wasn't really as dynamic as I'd hoped.
Good luck in your class.
I have always toyed with the idea of joining a writer's group. Bravo for you!
My biggest fears are for the people I love - which I guess are uncontrollable. My teen son went through a rough year with a chemical imbalance and depression.
Being taken seriously - speaking up/out and not being looked over or chuckled at. I have learned to suck it up and just get it over with - and like everything else, the more accustomed you become with something, the easier it is. Best of luck with your writing group - that is productive on so many levels! I'm glad your cancer gave you the gift of learning to live despite fear.
hmmm..probably a confrontation with a certain person...because of the collateral damage that could have resulted...in the end it was some but not so bad...
Probably ending the marriage has been my biggest fear, and it took a long time to get there.
I love that you're in this writer's group. That is the coolest thing!
I accidentally ran into my ex with his new girlfriend in a bar & I ran out when I saw his back. Well I pulled myself back up & walked back in & right up to him.
I'm so glad that your writer's group went good!!! really I'm very happy cuz it is a helpful thing to go do! =)
I think it will be this Monday, when I perform stand up for the second time in front of a big audience. I feel like I got a free pass the first time (you really aren't expected to be good at anything the first time you try it), but I have to do well the second time.
Well done to you for having this 'get up and go' attitude to getting through your fears! I admire people who act and try to get through what they know they need to do because it takes so much courage- and the thing is, that what may be easy for one person is difficult for another. You rock babe!!
Great question! I'm not sure when exactly the last time was, but I remember a phase I went through a number of years ago...I wanted to do things but was afraid, and after I worked myself up to start doing them, something about me changed. Whether it was to speak up in a college class for the first time, or maybe the day I gave my first IM shot (as a nurse)...it was like, after I stepped up and just DID first one, then another and another thing, maybe that confidence built up to the point where doing new stuff had more of an excitement than any fear at all.
Anyway, I'm very happy for you in your writers group, and I know the confidence that comes from success will bolster you more and more!!
Good for you. Sounds like a fun, supportive group. One of my biggest fears is flying. I’m going to have to face it sooner or later if we want to take a family vacation that’s outside of New England. I also don’t want to pass the fear onto my son.
I'm so proud of you! I think that sharing your writing with others is a huge step and can only lead to growth.
Right now I am dealing with the fear of being unemployed and how I will reinvent myself. I'll let you know how that goes.
I am driving more different places than I use to.....people (girl friends) are asking me to drive because they are afraid..this makes me feel good!!
Mine fear wasn't writing, it was submitting. I conquered it this year. I no longer throw up after each submission. I don't even feel nervous anymore. They'll either like it or they won't. I credit the online conference I attended and making friends with so many writers (both published and unpubbed) for helping me get over the hurdle.
I'm happy to see you taking such a big step too! Good luck with your group.
♥Spot
Wow, good for you. Facing a fear and doing something positive about it a pretty big deal.
A month ago, I sold everything I owned, save for some clothes and my laptop, and moved to Florida. Without a job to go to, and without anyone else to support me.
Yeah, I know about fear. You just have to embrace it and work through it. You'll be better for the journey.
Good for you! That is wonderful. I am sure you will gain tremendously from the group as well as help others.
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Happy writing!
Good for you! Your writing group sounds terrific.
My fear, hmmm-- I've been thinking long and hard about that one and I don't have an answer which means I'd better got to work on it.
Thanks for the nudge.
Happy weekend, jj
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