Monday, April 18, 2011

Some Days I Just Lose It.

Monday, April 18, 2011.....


Yesterday was one of those days that I just lost it. I mean I had an emotional vomit session and my husband was the toilet. It wasn't anything he said or did, it was totally me. I can't explain why (having had a womanly cancer, I've eliminated the option of PMS) and it was extremely frustrating to me.

I could feel a variety of emotions building up and brewing inside of me and it was though I could feel my blood boil. I hadn't a clue why I was so angry and when asked what was wrong, I just began to weep.

The weird part is that I really wanted to stop. I really wanted to know why I was so mad, but couldn't.

All day I was like this. In fact, I wish I could have left my own body and hung out with someone else, but I was trapped with me.

I finally calmed down by nightfall (I wonder if I'm like a vampire) and today is a good day.

There are reasons why I'm so off my rocker at the moment and I know I'll find a way to handle the stress. In the meantime, my husband sent me an email this morning with something he knows I'd love to do. He gets amazing specials on plays and dinners in NYC and I love going into NYC, but can't right now. He offered to take me. It is a sweet idea, but I believe this is as fun to him as a root canal.

Although I appreciate the gesture more than you can imagine, I don't want to go with someone who wouldn't enjoy the experience the same way.

8 comments:

Rohini Prasanth said...

my husband is my 'sink' too on such days. hang in there. you'll find your way out. sometimes its good to unload.

My better half doesn't enjoy NYC either. In the three years we've been here, the only two times we went together was with a group of friends. :( I have this image of me enjoying NYC with him, but I am not sure if it will ever come true.

Brian Miller said...

ah see i look at it as regardless, he still loves you and is willing to do what you like...go for it...

maria.palermo said...

You have a great hubby LMB, I agree with Brian, go for it, who knows, maybe he'll end up having a fabulous time!

Little Ms Blogger said...

Rohini - I love the city, but really enjoy it with people that want to go. He did mention how he wants to go to the Statue of Liberty, so maybe I'll break him in slowly.

Brian - He does love me. I admit, I'm truly blessed. He lights up whenever I enter a room and there is never a question of me knowing I am loved.

maria.palermo - Maybe. I really want him to do it because he wants to.

DB said...

You might be surprised - he may really enjoy himself. You should figure out something Mr. LMB might enjoy as well if you do venture into the city.

Maybe you could ride the Staten Island Ferry - on a nice day that would be fun and I think that's free!

Little Ms Blogger said...

DB - He wants to go to Statue of Liberty so we may do that first (he's never been). However, he did point out a play that is supposed to be a L&O type play.

Matty said...

I'm sorry you're feeling like this. It's even more frustrating when you don't know why. But what a great guy to make the effort to distract you and get your mind off things.

P.S. A little advice from a husband.....take the trip and enjoy.

Muffy Willowbrook said...

I've had moments like this too. Best thing I've found to do is just be alone and talk yourself through it.