Things That People Shouldn't Say.....

Wednesday: May 21, 2008:

I've recently become unemployed due to a reduction in workforce and am amazed at the comments I've heard. I wanted to list a few of them along with other inappropriate comments that make me go "Hmmm... did you really mean for that to come out of your mouth?"

Unemployment:

• Did you know that XYZ Company just had layoffs and I hear that another 2000 people will be let go this week that you'll be competing against.
• I think it'll be several more years before the recession turns around and companies begin to hire again.
• Did you find anything yet? Have you looked? Why haven't you found anything, its been a week? (these are comments I hear from people who have never been unemployed and don't have a clue that appropriate jobs don't fall out from the sky)

Baby Shower: (it should be noted that I do not have any children)

• Guest to pregnant guest-of-honor..."I was in labor for 36 hours and hemorrhaged, it was the worst experience of my life and that is why we only have Janey"

Seriously, that is like leaning over a patient while on the operating table and telling them that although the surgery is dangerous, the surgeon has been successful with this particular operation at least once out of the last 10 procedures.

Hospitalizations/Surgery:

Years ago, I had a surgery that went amiss and was back in the hospital with some funky horrible infection which was apparently life threatening. I was scheduled for emergency surgery the next morning and called a friend for consolation and here's what I heard:

• "Man, your life really sucks" (It should be noted that although I adore my friend, I no longer rely on him for any comforting words).

Nursing Home:

Recently my mother has been admitted into a nursing home for Alzheimer and the cost is close to $10k per month. My father has insurance, but still has a considerable out-of-pocket expense which is not covered by insurance. Apparently, everyone knows someone who has been admitted to a nursing home because of Alzheimer and instead of saying, "oh, I'm sorry to hear that, how are you doing" he has heard comments like this:

• My mom/aunt/grandma was admitted to a nursing home for Alzheimer and lived for another 12 years. My dad/uncle/grandpa went broke and lost his home. (something every 86 year old wants to hear)

Divorce/Separation: Yes, in addition to losing my job (a couple of times), I am now divorced and was amazed that I heard the following comment:

• Don't worry, you won't be alone. You'll find someone soon.

Hello? What are people thinking? I had just filed for divorce and wanted the chance to breathe and I am supposed to be worried about being alone?

I know that there are probably dozens and dozens of inappropriate comments that others have heard, these are just the ones that stick out in my mind.

j-