July 2, 2008......
For the past several months, I have been unemployed. During my search, I have received numerous emails from this one headhunter regarding accounting or CPA positions that I'd be perfect for. Ummmmm... NOT. I have no accounting experience. I mean none. I didn't even major in accounting or finance in college to stray away from the major to pursue other interesting employment opportunities. Instead I majored in something useful for business: History. Actually, my concentration was in Medieval History, even more useful in the business community because today's economy is not run on a barter system, or as a servile feudal class. However, if the economic system ever goes back to a system of serfs, people will finally realize that I was right about my choice and that it is incredibly useful.
After about the 12th email telling me about another wonderful CPA opportunity, I began to notice that this headhunter includes the following line in his emails "If we have poorly matched your job and qualifications, please update your resume." Seriously, I am to update my resume to match the qualities needed for an accounting position. This guy does not know me well enough. If I'm going to make up false credentials, I'm going for champion figure skater or ex circus clown. So.....with time on my hands (just a little), I sent the headhunter the following email......
"I get these emails all the time from your company and they are all geared towards accounting positions. However, your email states if we poorly matched your qualifications that I need to update my resume. Ummm.....no. I think the program your office uses to search for "key" words is off the mark. No where in my resume does it state the word accounting or CPA. I have ACCCOUNT management experience, but I'm a contract negotiator. I was previously a relationship manager and prior to that, in the insurance industry administering and selling group life and health policies."
Several weeks went by and yesterday I received an email from Brant with the same ol' same ol message. I didn't expect Brant to send me a personalized message, but I did expect my name to come off his database. However, I jumped too quickly to conclusions. Late last evening, I received the following email from Brant:
"Thank you for applying through Career-Forge.com, (note: I didn't) sometimes people do not get picked for jobs due to poor resume presentation, we have a service that can help, you can get a custom resume and change as often as you like.
The site is http://www.aresumebuilder.com/
Aresumebuilder.com was created to make your job search faster, easier, and more rewarding. You can create a resume in minutes, and we even give you helpful hints and tips. You can also create a reference list, and cover letters.
Try it today!
-The Team at http://www.aresumebuilder.com/
Seriously dude, just look into better metadata software to match up possible candidates to viable positions; or take my name off your database.