Friday, March, 19, 2010.....
Acceptance, according to Merriam Webster is "favorable reception or approval".
I find it easy to accept others, but when it comes to me, I find this to be the hardest word in the dictionary to understand.
For the past 22 months, I've been forced into a period I'd like to call "limbo" or "purgatory for the unemployed". The market hasn't been kind, but it has forced me to really look at who I am and what I want.
Some things haven't changed since the day I lost my job. For instance, while working, cleaning was never a priority on my list of everyday tasks. In fact, I loathe it. Once unemployed, I thought the elimination of being too busy with work would give me the time to really clean and organize my home. No such luck.
I admit to ironing my sheets and that is about as Martha Stewart as I get. Yes, I love to cook, but she takes home care and organization to a level I've finally decided is just not me.
Instead, I watch Hoarder programs on t.v. and that scares me enough to keep some semblance in my home and purge things on a regular basis (my definition of regular is not to be compared to what I believe Martha would call regular).
Hating to clean is just an example of how I've been facing things about me and accepting I'm not perfect and letting go.
Yes, there are things I still want to change or modify about my life, but am I going to beat myself up because I'm not perfect or it takes me longer than most to make the change is something I'm working on. I'm finally learning to accept I march to a beat of a different drummer and beginning to embrace that this is okay.