Monday, June 8, 2009

The Many Uses of Duct Tape....

Monday, June 8, 2009....

Duct tape is one of those magical inventions where people can use it for reasons other than its original design.

I've recently read where it works wonders for removing warts. If memory serves me, you cover the wart, leave the tape on for a week, rip it off and then use a pumice stone to file down any fragments.

I applaud that duct tape is so versatile, comes in various colors, but never in my wildest dream would I combine it with saran wrap to make the super condom.

Yes, you read correctly: duct tape + saran wrap = super condom.

Yesterday, I was with a friend at a local outdoor steel drum concert and we were catching up. She mentioned this girl, L, I've met once or twice and am always amused by L stories.

L is over 40 and only talks to available men with the right credentials. Basically, she's looking for a rich man to marry. Currently, she's dating a man with the 'right credentials', but he has a condition that would put a damper on one's love life.

To combat his issue, he created the Super Condom.

Now, if I were drunk and playing a game entitled 'Name Another Use for Duct Tape', I'd probably suggest the Super Condom. But, there is no way in HELL I'd ever use one.

Seriously, think about this.

As a woman, the thrusting motion could push back the tape ridges and expose the sticky stuff to your inner most private place. Not in my world.

As a man, what if the tape happens to hit skin. You'd have to rip it off your most prized possession. I'm thinking most men would pass on this option.

Personally, this guy's a tool for not going to his doctor and getting a prescription for his condition. I've seen enough t.v. drug commercials to know that his outbreaks can be reduced by just taking this magic pill.


Optimistic Pessimist said...

holy shit...that's crazy. Why would someone do this...or allow this to be done. Yes, I tool!

Sunshinemeg said...

I was not ready for this post. I was casually drinking my hot chocolate and almost had to spit it out. HAhahah! Thanks for making Monday a little more funny.

Miss Yvonne said...

Super condom = ouchie.

simple girl said...

Haha!! Crazy!

Little Ms Blogger said...

OP: Well, I hoped it worked. Imagine if they actually bred.

Sunshinemeg: Glad I could start your morning off with a little hot cocoa through your nose.

Miss Yvonne: You can say that again!

Simple Girl: I'm thinking the girl was crazy to agree to the SUPER CONDOM.

Emily said...

I was just doing some lame trig work and then read this! no wonder L stories are funny.
Who lives like that?

lacochran said...

Duct tape condom? Never gonna happen, my friend. Never gonna happen.

LiLu said...

Duct tape is like the force... it has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the world together.

This should have been a TMI Thursday... AWESOMENESS!

The Sorority said...

OMFG! Duct tape and your va-jay-jay not a good combo, no matter how you spin it.

No bank account is worth having to pull that from a sensitive area.

Little Ms Blogger said...

Emily - Only desperate women wanting to marry anyone with a pulse and missing gray matter between their ears.

Lacochran - I hear you!

LiLu - Until this story, I thought duct tape was only used for good, not evil.

Sorority - Could you spin this story to have a positive outcome?

You're right. I'm unemployed and there still isn't enough $$$ to make me do that.