Thursday, August 6, 2009

My Dad is Spiderman

Thursday, August 6, 2009...

Background: I am the youngest of 5 in a family that used the rhythm method for birth control. My mom turned 40 and had me the next day and dad was 43 when born. Currently mom lives in nursing with Alzheimer's, while dad is very active in the community and in great shape for an 87 year man.

My dad is very happy-go-lucky, always saying thank you to people, non confrontational, doesn't raise his voice - the type of person that people easily approach and ask him questions. He rarely gets frazzled, but when he does, it is very tricky to calm him down.

Last night I get this panicked call from my father. This was our conversation:

Dad: I locked the house keys in the car which is in the garage that I can't get into.

Me: Let's call M (my sister) she'll have a key (for reasons very funny and too long to explain in this post, I don't have a key to their house).

Dad: She's in Baltimore for a seminar. She told me she was going to be in Baltimore for a seminar.

Me: No, you were just there this past weekend for an outing at other sister's home (I did not go because I knew the car ride alone would have killed my back right now).

Dad: No, no, she's there. (At this point I remember 2 things - 1) my sister had plans locally on Monday night; and 2) I had heard he refused to wear his hearing aid this past weekend.)

Me. I tell him, not to worry that I'd be down in 1/2 hour (traffic at 4:00 pm becomes a bit crazy), but definitely don't worry.

Dad: He says okay and tells me he'll be at neighbor's house.

I hang up and call sister who is at work. I explain the situation and she does have a key, but tells me this gem - "It doesn't matter that I have the key to kitchen door, he locks the screen door" (which can only be unlocked from the inside).

WTF? I ask why and then realize that I know there is no good reason. I told her if I couldn't get the garage keypad working, I'd page her.

Hubby just got home so I recruited him and his 40 lb toolbox to help me (can anyone tell me the importance of having a toolbox that has so many tools your wife can't pick up???). We get there and it's not the battery to the garage keypad.

By now, my dad and the neighbor come over and she explains how she couldn't calm him down. I told her it best to just let him talk it out (best description of my dad when he's like this, is a dog chasing his tail. Eventually, he wears himself out and calms down).

As my hubby is working on opening the stupid screen door (at this point, called sister and she'll be over after work with key), my dad throws out this gem:

THE SECOND STORY WINDOW IS SLIGHTLY AJAR AND IF I HAD A LADDER I COULD CLIMB THROUGH THE WINDOW.

Yup.

Wait. It gets better. His neighbor says, "Oh, Emil, I'd climb through the window for you" then looks at me and asks if she should get a ladder from her house and I say no (I forgot to tell my 2 sisters this part of the story because I thought it best to leave out the part that dad's neighbor is a bit nuts).

Hubby explains that although the window is ajar, we'd still have to cut the screen (for some reason cutting a screen is not an option in my dad's mind, but scaling a two-story house doesn't seem to be a problem).

The neighbor (who was very nice) leaves and we sit with my father and chat till my sister comes with the kitchen key (hubby had successfully unlocked the screen door without any damage to the door).

When I tell my sister dad's solution she was appalled and in a joking manner threatened him that he be put in the home with my mom.

Although my dad's solution to scale a two-story house (did I mention if he fell, it would be on concrete) is a bit extreme, I understand where I get my gift of extreme solution offerings to my sister, Yoga Girl.

37 comments:

lov said...

i'm really wanting to know why you don't have a key to your parent's house!

~Jewel said...

my granny used to say that we all are "once an adult and twice a child." of course, it took me until i was 40 to figure out what it meant! lol

Esmerelda said...

Your dad sounds like my husband. And I just can't wait for him to age so it can get worse? better? worse? better?

LiLu said...

At least it's entertainment... :-)

La La La Leah said...

WOW, it sounds like you were only a few seconds away from being on the local nightly news... hehehe Glad your dad got in Ok and did not have to spend the night with you or your sister... I could see that turning into another post.

Sunshinemeg said...

OMG! HAHA, my fiance would have done the same thing - scary thought.

Heckety said...

Excuse me but are we secret sisters? Is that my Dad you have there?

Heather said...

Wow - glad you were able to get in without anyone having to scale the house!! :)

Herding Cats said...

Aw man....your poor dad. He reminds me of my dad.

inkOBSESSIONdesigns said...

Awww...your dad sounds really cute!

Constructive Attitude said...

Oh man, i wanna know the story why YOU dont have a key! that should be your next blog post. please?

and also, I'm so glad your dad didnt climb the window to the second floor. crazyyyyy

CaJoh said...

Almost reminds me of the time I got locked out of the house when I was a teenager. I went into the garage and proceeded to remove the storm windows so that I could slip in through my bedroom window— my dad nearly clobbered me for trying to break into the house. I guess that's the problem with being resourceful… sometimes you are a bit too resourceful.

Lola Lakely said...

Now, I am really curious as to why you don't have a key to your parents house. Could that be another blog post?

I'm glad I read this though it definitely put a much needed smile on the end of my day. Oh, and what is it like having spiderman as your father?

Life, Love And Lola said...

So why don't you have a key????

otin said...

That story is priceless! Save all screens! LOL!

Green-Eyed Momster said...

I would love you to post about why you don't have a key.

Screens are very important, you know....

Hugs!!

Missy said...

I have parents who are doing "crazy" things also! They are worrying me as much as the kids are!

rxBambi said...

It's so hard when parents get older. My dad died suddenly at 70, but at least he didn't suffer. I saw him the week before and he was fine.
On the other hand my mom is now 83 and lives 2000 miles away from me. It's so hard, but she won't move here and I can't uproot my family at this point. Hopefully everything will work out for both your mom and your dad. Just love them!

Midtown Girl said...

Chick I totally get this...its almost like parents become part our adult responsibilities....crazy but true...kind of like this story!

XOXO

Little Ms Blogger said...

lov & Constructive Attitude - I'm actually going to do a post about 'key' privileges because I realized the emails I sent you didn't really captured why.

Jewel - SOOOOO TRUE!!!!!

Esmerelda - hmmm.. well, as he ages he'll slow down so you'll be able to stop him from scaling buildings.

LiLu - Yes it is....

La La - Oh man, if he spent a night at either of our houses without his Vitamaster (kick-ass juicer) the world would end.

Sunshinemeg - Ahhhh, but he's probably 50 years younger and hasn't had a knee replacement.

Heckety - Yes. It's your turn to monitor his building scaling skills.

Heather - I'm not above breaking glass, slicing screens and have done both to get in my house (3 windows & a door have been damaged by me!)

Herding Cats - Your dad has a secret desire to scale buildings?

inkOBSESSION - He is.

CaJoh - It's nice when the house is yours and you do that stuff - no one to yell at you. They just mock you.

Lola - Another post is coming and it's cool to have a dad with superhero powers - it's just a bitch to clean the suit.

otin - It's almost as fun as his love of duct tape.

Green-Eyed - Another post coming and I must have missed that memo for my own house (having cut 3 to climb through 3 windows)

Missy - I read about your dad's tag sale adventure and feel your pain. Dad is sane, mom isn't - 2 different scenarios.

rxBambi - my dad is 87, golfs, walks daily, very active in the community. He only starting slower down last year. Get to know your mom's neighbors. Neighbors love older people and keep an extra eye out for you.

Midtown Girl - yeah, it's called the Sandwich Generation - caring for both kids and parents at same time. Personally, I'd be an open-faced sandwich because I have no children.

Mrs4444 said...

I'm glad your dad has kids who love him and will have his back in times like these. We don't have a key to my MIL's house, either. We keep talking about it, but it never happens...

Came by via Life, Love, and Other Drama-Going to do your Rant and Rave meme some time :)

noelle said...

I'm sure with all the tools in your hubby's tool box, fixing the screen would be a piece of cake!

Sunshine Mama said...

Ahh, that was such a fun story to read. Probably annoying to live through, but fun to read. I have a couple stories like that.
Thanks for your compliment. It took two weeks to drop that 9th pound. I also just finished the "scale story". Hope you have great weekend.

otin said...

The fact that I could eat two subs does not mean that I would! LOL I am in diet mode!!!!

Sheri said...

That's awesome!!! I'm kinda sorta dreading when my parents get like that. They're already a bit . . . not normal. TGIF and all that!

outdoor.mom said...

wow what a story! at least nobody called the cops on you and made it into a national incident - lol.

Funny Girl said...

Hi Little Miss, Great Post and very funny. You are my post of the week!

Elise said...

Hi, just wanted to say how much I've enjoyed reading your posts and how wonderful your pictures are - really breathtaking ! Thankyou for sharing

Karyn - (French Charming) said...

I can so relate to this! My mom went through a phase of locking here keys in the car, one time she not only locked her keys in the car, the car was still running and it was in still in drive! The only thing stopping the car from going through the bank was a concrete stop in the parking lot!

I asked her how she missed all these steps, she said she'd rather not talk about it!! HA!

Your dad is just giving you lots of great memories!! Okay...fess up, why don't you have a key????

Hugs,
Karyn

Matthew said...

Great recollection - thanks for sharing it.

Thanks also for stopping by my site. Come again anytime!

TudorCity Girl said...

LOL! This was hilarious the way you told this story!! I'm glad it all worked out.

Kate Hanke said...

Tell us why you don't have keys to your parents house!!

very married said...

did you get the screen door open?? tell us why you don't have a key!

Atomic Lola said...

Getting locked out stinks! I'm very impressed with how calm you seemed about the whole thing. And you sure know your dad well!

miss rambles said...

lik everyone else i wanna know WHY YOU DON'T HAVE A KEY!

your dad is funny!willing to climb up 2 storeys rather than cut a screen..old age is entertaining at best:)

Little Ms Blogger said...

Mrs 4444 Better get a key before your MIL wants to scale her house and climb through a window.

noelle - They did. If they didn't, I'd have to wonder what their purpose was.

Sunshine - It could get easy to be annoyed, but why bother? It would just upset him more and make the situation worse.

Otin - I was just very impressed you COULD eat 2 subs in one sitting.

outdoor - Hmmmm.. I could have gotten a free trip to DC, but instead got a key to the front door. I think I was robbed.

Elise - Thanks, but I wonder if you have me confused with someone else. I don't post any pics.

karyn - OMG. That is both funny & scary. Thank heavens for the concrete stop.

Matthew - thanks

Tudor City - Thanks

Kate - My next post has the story.

very married - I did get it open and my next post tells the story about my key privileges

atomic lola - I'm a pretty calm person. It's rare when I blow my top and I know his trigger points (very few).

miss rambles - Now you how I lost my key privileges...and I bet he would have tried climbing to the 2nd story if I weren't there.

cottage farm villa (cottagecharm) said...

Ok, this story is hysterical!!!!! Great writing! Cooky family! Just kidding, you are a hoot!

ps. thanks for stopping by my blog. It is nice to meet you!