Monday, August 3, 2009

The Lost Art of.....

Monday, August 3, 2009....

Today I was reading inkOBSESSION and as an anniversary give-away, she's offering a gift cert to her shop. She sells great cards/invites/we've moved cards etc. which started me thinking. When was the last time I've sent or received a letter?

Granted, I love the instant satisfaction that an email gives you, but admit to being a paper whore. I've kept journals over the years and always meander into the journal section of any book store to just look.

I have personalized stationery, fun cards and great invites - all requiring to ol' school it (mail vs. email).

I love her cards and that she shares a bit of her life with her readers. If employed, I know I'd be dropping $$$ there.

In addition to the Lost Art of Letter Writing, I've noticed that there is a growing tendency for people not to listen to one another. I understand how technology replaced the written letter, but has technology replaced the ability to listen to one another?

I'm not sure.

What I do know is that many people are in such a hurry they've forgotten they've called you to inquire about you. I don't know if it's because they're multi-tasking and on the Internet, checking text messages on their phone, or programming their dvr, but as I get older, I notice my patience for horrible listeners have no place in my life.

A 'horrible' listener is not a person that doesn't remember the minor happenings in my life, but major events. It would be the person who had forgotten you had a sex change and your name is no longer Jane, but Jim (note: I have not had a sex change, but used this dramatic example to really define my point).

When I was in my early 20's, my ex-father-in-law would ask me how many siblings I had. After about the 10th time, I realized he wasn't listening and told him 13. I might have added that my oldest sister, a research scientist at John Hopkins, was working on the cure for cancer at that very moment in time. My sister is a researcher at Johns Hopkins, but was she working on the cure for cancer, not sure, but doubt it.

My point to my rambling is that I don't want you to call me under the guise you actually care about my life if you're not going to listen and then laugh about forgetting major events I've shared with you. It's insulting.

I know everyone is juggling a zillion things, but don't have me open up to you if you really have no intention of listening. I'd respect you more if you called me and said LMB, I really just want to talk about me for the next hour.

19 comments:

La La La Leah said...

I love Paper too... I buy those big packs of Scrapbook paper and sit and look at them... I would NEVER use them unless I had to.

Guess what I got a Thank you note in the mail this weekend and all I did was throw a pool party and a hissy on my blog.... Amazing. I need to be better about my correspondence.

I love AmericanStationary.com they have some GREAT stuff. I will check out the site you mentioned I do need some invites for my son's bday.

Eyes Wide Open said...

Ugh! My husband is the KING of not listening!!! It's funny though, because moments after I've said something (earth-shattering or otherwise), he'll look up and ask a question or make a statement pertaining to what I just said, like he came up with it all on his own. But he has no idea that I just poured my heart out for 15 minutes.
D'oh!

Stephanie said...

I love paper...I also love sending and receiving notes. I have this problem that I love it so much that I dont always want to use it so I will buy a pack and then only use one card or one paper.

Constructive Attitude said...

world of technology has ruined us all.

and i admit to being a paper whore too. I LOVE receiving cards and giving them :) :)

lacochran said...

It becomes pretty obvious, pretty quickly if people aren't tuning in to what you're saying. On the other hand, it's possible your former FIL had brain deterioration. Unlikely, sure, but possible.

f8hasit said...

I try to always send thank you notes in the mail...and have gotten my daughter in the habit as well.
She asked , Why don't we just send a bulk e-mail?" Yeah, no.

And I refuse to take my cell phone into restaurants or when out with friends. ONe friend actually asked me while she took 2 calls and checked her mail while we waited for dinner where my phone was.
"In my car. Where it belongs when out to dinner with friends for conversation."

She never brought it again when we went out.
Am I a bitch?
No.

Just a good listener...
and my gift wasn't being put to use.
:-)

Life, Love And Lola said...

Wee said! I agree!

THE ACTORS DIET said...

listening should be taught in school....wait a sec, was it? maybe i wasn't listening...

http://whysoserioustoday.blogspot.com said...

I completly agree wid u ... listening seems more difficult thn expressing ur views and also I get pissed wen someone ask me same thng again n again and dunt concentrate wen i answer... and abt the letters ... well .. i thnk to gettin a mail is much more exciting thn our inbox...

Little Ms Blogger said...

La La Leah - I'll have to check out AmericanStationary. Thanks for tip.

Eyes Wide Open - Happy to hear you can laugh at it. If not, I imagine you'd be pulling out your hair.

Stephanie - That is funny.

Constructive Attitude - Glad to hear there are more people like me out there. I know it'll keep the paper companies in business.

lacochran - oh if that were the case with ex FIL - he was just a male chauvinist pig and believed women had nothing worthy to say.

f8hasit - I try always to send the handwritten thank you. I may not be the quickest, but I do get them out.

Digit dialing at dinner is the worst. I never understood that. Unless absolute emergency, enjoy the company you've agreed to go to dinner with.

L, L & Lola - thanks

The Actor's Diet - LOL. Wait, you probably didn't hear me laughing did ya?

Why So Serious - I agree.

Miss Yvonne said...

Weird, I just sent you a card last week and here you are talking about sending cards. You were probably inspired by mine, right?

Yeah, I'm right.

JennyMac said...

AMEN! I love paper, have hundreds of notecards, and love to hand make cards for our son to send his obsessed Grandparents. LOL. I still do thank you notes on paper. And hope our son will but doubt it.

And bad listeners suck. Our son has been in the same class at private school for ONE YEAR with the same exact kids. EVERY TIME we see one of the kids dads, he introduces himself to us as if we just laid eyes on each other and asks our names. Next time I will say "Anastasia Beaverhousen"

Little Ms Blogger said...

Miss Yvonne - I got your note right after I wrote this entry (yeah, I suck at getting the mail) but did the happy dance - fun mail for moi!

JennyMac - absolutely, I think you should introduce yourself as Anastasia Beaverhousen.

blognut said...

I would love to send cards and letters, but I never do. Don't get me wrong, I buy them, and I make them out. I just never mail them. NEVER. I don't even know what a stamp costs anymore because all of the household bills are handled electronically.

So I email - a lot. And I listen pretty well, too. :)

CaJoh said...

I am constantly writing correspondence. The tricky part is trying to compose one quickly.

I have known a few people who are great conversationalists and one aspect of that is the ability to queue in on what has been happening with someone and pick up where you left off. I knew someone in theater who knew where I went to college and was able to ask me about it two years after I graduated (made me feel quite important).

Thank you for a wonderful perspective.

otin said...

I have not written a letter since I was about 12! Thats what the telephone was invented for!!! LMAO!

DebraLSchubert said...

There's nothing better than nice stationary or a fresh, blank journal. And, show me a man that listens, and I'll show you a woman dressed as a man.

Little Ms Blogger said...

blognut - @ least you listen. That's more than most people do.

CaJoh - I agree.

otin - So, I guess you're a GREAT listener being on the phone all the time!!!

Debra - I LOVE a new journal

Heckety said...

Without sounding prissy I know I'm a good listener because in company that's all I do. I know when friends invite me to join them I'm expected to keep my mouth shut, ears open, and remember everything. Sometimes it gets to me, and it gets to me even worse that my closest friends know nothing about me. Then I figured maybe I'm being useful somehow. Then I started to blog...and y'll HAVE to listen to me now!!!