Tuesday, September 1, 2009

A Really Good Laugh

September 1, 2009...

Tomorrow marks my 16th month anniversary of being unemployed, but today marks the day I've had my best laugh about this situation. Today, I received in the mail my own special application for a Visa Black Card.

"For those who demand only the best of what life has to offer, the exclusive Visa Black Card is for you."

"The Black Card is not for everyone. In fact, it is limited to only 1% of U.S. residents to ensure the highest caliber of personal service is provided to every Cardmember."

You know what else, it's made out of a patent pending carbon.

I don't know whether to apply for shits & giggles or apply to their marketing department because I believe I'd weed out the unemployed from this invitation.

Funniest part of this elaborate invite (other than the obvious), I haven't a clue what the benefits are.

Thank you Visa for giving the best laugh about not having a job in a very long time.


Green-Eyed Momster said...

I say we go shopping!!!

Sorry about your anniversary. Stay positive! I hope something will come along for you soon.

You could always catch a couple of bunnies, breed them and sell them...like when life gives you lemons....

Sorry, I'm not funny this morning!


jane said...

you crack me up! since you have all this time on your hands, why don´t you crank out a little best seller?... thanks for visiting this month! sending you a big hug! -jane

La La La Leah said...

I swear I get offers for 2 american express cards a day.... We already have 2 we don't use.... Also AMEX has a black card too... You should feel special they invited you! ;)

maria.palermo said...

If the benefits of the Visa card are comparable to the Centurion Card, aka Amex Black, then you're golden. You get access to a personal shopper, get every room you book at a Mandarin Oriental hotel, you get one free. However, you have to spend $250K in 12 months. Crazy!

CC. said...

haha thats insane about the visa!! congratsss rock on chica.

Heckety said...

Maybe they're offering you a black card because they think you need to be encouraged to spend more...maybe if you were terribly in debt they'd offer you a red card? The Hub had a Visa card but he sat on his wallet so often the card got permanently bent and now it doesn't work...so what sort of card will they offer us d'you think????

f8hasit said...

My credit card from Chase (who bought WaMu where my card had originated) was canceled. For what reason? I don't know. Apparently they went across the board and canceled almost all of the WaMu customer base...
...but the same day they canceled my card, they sent another item asking me to open a checking account with them. Oh, and they sent an application for credit to my daughter...who is 10.



lacochran said...

I got this invitation, too. I felt oh so exclusive until I read the part about the $495 annual fee. For REALZ! I'll stick with my AmEx Blue, thankyouverymuch. No annual fee and they pay me a cash rebate every year!

DB said...

I'm just happy the bunny made it back into your tag lines. In the spirit of the first day of the month, "rabbit rabbit"

Stephanie said...

That is hilarious. I can't help but wonder what the patent pending carbon is.

hang in there I am sure you will find a job perfect for you. :)

New England Girl said...

Oh my goodness! I would die if this happened to me. Too funny.

Goose said...

My fiancé who is fairly young got the visa black card in the mail too and was all proud of himself for being in the 1%. Too Funny! He didn't apply though I think there was some catch.

a corgi said...

now that is funny in an ironical sort of way; one can only hope you will be employed sooner than later; 16 months is a long time for sure


Anonymous said...

I have a shitload of debt that I'm trying to get out from under and still American Express try to get me to apply for the Platinum card. Hi Amex, I owe you a ton of money and you want to give me MORE???

So irresponsible.

Anonymous said...

Wonderful blog, well written, I love it... incidently, nobody ever offered me a black card.

If the unemployed are being offered little black cards, I wonder who is next... chique addresses under the viaducts of America?

Love the blog. I have added it to my Blogger's Cafe:
Under Girl's Blogs.

Check it out.


ps I came here from Resurrected Ramblings, blame him.

kk said...

1% huh?

I got one too. Tossed it right away.

Glad you got a good laugh out of it though!

Why DON'T you write a book???

Actual Scale said...

I'm a SAHM, so obviously I have no income of my own, yet I get "you're preapproved for platimum whatever" all the time!

Hope things work out for you soon! Try to stay positive. :)

Karyn Bernard (French Charming) said...

You are hysterical! Glad you find the humor in it. I think just for shits and giggles you should apply!

BTW, your comment made me expel my drink through my nose! Thanks a lot!!!


Matty said...

I like your positive spin on this. Not everyone gets a laugh out of a negative situation. Keep the chin up and as they say..."patience is a virtue".

As for the credit app...shred it!

DebraLSchubert said...

Ha! And I thought the credit card companies were pulling back these days. I say, go for it! Of course, they'll probably charge you a massive annual fee for the privilege.;-)

otin said...

I love the fact that I cannot remortgage my 90,000 dollar mortgage with a 760 credit score and then I get something in the mail that says that I am approved for up to 460,000!

noelle said...

I was so excited to also receive the same "you've been accepted into the uber fantastic credit club" mailers. I loved the idea that some exclusive club wanted me to be apart of it! However, Mr. Husband had no trouble knocking me off my pedestal by saying any jerk that ever has charged something and paid on time once gets the same offer. ;)

Anonymous said...

I love the quirks (read: immutable, and undeniable fubaredness) of our financial systems. A letter to Visa marketing department can't hurt your cause here.

Beth said...

Well, there is your silver lining... :)

Sunshine Mama said...

Somehow the word black in the name makes it more prestigious sounding?

Ahh...at least you can laugh about it. When you do get a job, this time off will be a memorable time for you if you keep laughing and relaxing.

Constructive Attitude said...

where can i get one of those? lol

Miss Yvonne said...

My husband has been unemployed for 9 months and we are getting collection calls on the same day the credit card offers come in the mail. I think I'm going to send one back that says "I'll apply for your card just as soon as I pay off Discover, m'kay?"

Midlife Jobhunter said...

The clever manipulation of getting people to spend money is always filled with creative surprise. The Black Card - the Doomsday Card. Sheesh.

Okay, this might be the month the 16th month drought get flooded. Lets hope so.

Joanna Jenkins said...

What a crack up! I'd have taken a picture of it before I cut it in half :-)

Thanks for your nice words about my More.com article. I really appreciate it.


Midtown Girl said...

Are the benefits/yrly fee similar to Amex Black?

I say cut it up & throw away before the temptation kicks in LOL!!


Dan said...

Maybe it's black in commiseration?

I know a person who is going through bankruptcy and still gets offers. You'd think the vetting would be better.

NINA said...

I love credit cards! So addictive

Eyes Wide Open said...

Hahahaa!!! I recently did a major overhaul on my credit, and as soon as the repairs were made my mailbox was flooded with all sorts of VIP cards. I cut them up and made a picture frame outta them (yes, there were that many!!!).

Anonymous said...

credit cards=EVIL throw away!!

Little Ms Blogger said...

green Eyed - that was funny about the bunnies AND I would go shopping if the bill went to someone else.

Jane - I wish

La La - I feel very special, but not b/c of the card offer - LOL.

MP - and it's $495/year. $495 just to have this privilege and a patent pending carbon card.


Heckety - Ahhh... I owe $$ and that's the key to why I was offered this ridiculous off. Maybe this patent pending carbon card won't bend in your husband's wallet.

F8 - That's just crazy.

lacochran - sniff - I'm sensing I'm not that special anymore if you got the same offer.

DB - The rabbit is gone. Do I need to get you some kleenex?

Stephanie - I'm curious about it too.

New England Girl - It did give me a great laugh for the day.

Goose - I'm not either and, so far, another commenter got the same offer. I guess we're not that special after all.

a corgi - I thought so too.

Vegetable Assasin - that's how it works. My hubby who is completely debt free gets nothing - oh wait, he has me now.

Argentum Vulgaris - Love your comment and agree 100%. I also think offers will be mailed to cemeteries soon.

KK - you got one two - dang 4 so far from this one post. Not feeling the love.

Actual Scale - If F8hasit's 10 year old gets them, you should too.

French Charming - Laughing @ things makes life much more interesting. Glad you like my comment, but more surprised no on else saw the same thing. Really? Cool painted house surrounded by dog kennel fence.

Matty - If you only knew the things I laugh/ed about. I'm working on patience. It's very hard.

Debra - $495 to own & no thanks.

Otin - I'll make a deal with you - I'll swap my mortgagees for your one. I bet you'll get approved then.

Noelle - You too! That makes 5 of us on this one post with the offer. Maybe we all got the offer because we all eat meat, green eyes or breathe.

RR - What? You can't see how it's improved? Changed? If you try squinting really hard, it may help you to see the nonexistent change.

Beth - LOL

Sunshine - yes it does - combine with the fancy envelope & viola - $495

Constructive Attitude - Apparently, it's not that exclusive a club (from the comments I received). I'm thinking you can probably pick up an app in your local gas station.

Miss Yvonne - I know that's not funny, but it made me laugh. 9 months. I hope Captain finds something soon.

Midlife - Why not neon purple or pink - why black? I want a card that appeals to my fun side and can be easily spotted in the wallet.

Joanna - Oh I still have the app only b/c it's in some random pile on my desk @ moment waiting for shredding.

Btw, you're welcome. That was a great piece and am looking forward to reading the others.

Midtown Girl - Trust me, 16 months unemployed + a mortgagee = no black card unless I want to live under a bridge.

Dan - I also know someone who got a credit card after only 3 months from her bankruptcy being finalized. I just don't get it.

NINA - Ahhhh...they are extremely dangerous.

Eyes Wide Open - Get out. A picture frame? How cool.

Miss Rambles - I agree 100%

Alexis AKA MOM said...

LOL that is great, I want one oh wait no I don't I have enough bills!

sorry about the anniversary, prayers with you a job comes soon!

Much love, Lex