Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Another Brilliant Idea From Hubby....

Tuesday, December 29, 2009....

I was going to post about Christmas, but other than learning a new card game, Phase 10, the holiday was drama free (last year made up for drama for the next ten years).

Instead, I thought I'd share my husband's brilliant idea for a calendar --- The Penis Calendar (seriously, do men ever mature past the age of 7?).

I told him there was probably one out on the market and he made me google it to shut him up. He was right and I was wrong (yes, I can sometimes admit I'm wrong, but only over stupid stuff that will never impact me). I found a cartoon one, but it was out several years back.

Personally, I thought the calendar was going to be 12 months displaying a penis-a-month, but he thought outside the box (a marketing term I loathe) and came up with what he believes to be a brilliant idea.....READY....Dress the penis up. Not with a top hat, but he had more creative solutions.

For instance, April, start of baseball season (see where I'm headed on this one) a bat and two balls...November a turkey and at one point he suggested dressing the penis up as Cinderella. Cinderella? Seriously? I told him if he did that they'd take away his balls for that shot.

Hubby discussed his calendar idea with YogaGirl. She was...ummm.. appalled (not sure why as she has never seen his penis -- at least I think she hasn't). After she expressed her disapproval for wanting a copy of this calendar, he told her she has two cats and they'd probably appreciate looking at the penis calendar on her fridge.

She politely told him they might, but since her fridge was stainless steel, she couldn't use a magnet to hold it up.

Hubby, always thinking, said: "Ya know, they have this revolutionary invention called tape".

For some reason the conversation stopped.


Working Mommy said...

LOL! He should do it...he'd make millions, I'm sure!!


notthatkindofgirlblog said...

There's an Australian theatre troupe who played in New York a few months back called Puppetry of the Penis who does -- you guessed it -- penis origami. Maybe a collaboration is in order?

Also, when I read penis calendar, my mind was even more in the gutter: I imagined a page-a-day calendar where every page has a cool background or costume drawn on and a hole in the middle...

Melanie's Randomness said...

I could totally see this sold at like Romantic Depot & Spencers. It would probably go over real well as gag gifts for bridal parties too. Funny as hell tho!! =)

Heckety said...

When the Hub returns from his walk he just HAS to read this! He will laugh himself sick! And no, I can't off hand think of any men who have aged beyond seven years old, or none in this extended family anyhow...

TudorCity Girl said...

Seriously, he would make a ton at it, I'm sure!
That is classic.. Needed this laugh today.
And sadly, I do not know of one man who has matured past childhood either.

theschmuck said...

LOL thats BRILLIANT!Seriously!Btw,if you print one,I'm a taker,Seriously! and July is my birth birth,lets dunk it in cake!
Erm.Just saying!
-S(previously blogging as Miss Nobody)

Heckety said...

...yup, he roared laughing!

CarrieBeth said...

I don't se this making any money. This is example of the differences between men and women. I'm assuming he thinks women are his target market. Yet, where men want to see female genatalia, women DO NOT want to see men's. Just the thought of a penis and gross, hairy, wrinkly balls dressed up as anything makes me want to loss my breakfast. But I do applaud his creativity in thinking up new ways to use his junk.

Ink Obsession Designs said...

You so owe me a new monitor...I just spit my coffee out laughing so hard! :) It probably would be a huge hit at bachelorette parties!!

Spot said...

Hmmm. Wow. I'm speechless. I don't think I'll be ordering one of those. Unless...well...hmmm...maybe I would. To give to a friend. Of course. LMAO!


Actual Scale said...

LOL, that can't be much worse than some of the ones already out there!
I actually saw one in the bookstore that was all about poop.

So would this be like paper dolls? Would you get to cut out the clothes & dress the penis yourself?
What about hats?


Kelly said...

Hysterical! Sign me up!

Herding Cats said...

I think it'd be a hit. People love the penis!

fgrngtllt said...

hahahaha your hubby is an absolute gem!

Iva said...

LOL hilarious!! ;)

Living and Loving in L.A. said...

Very, very interesting. I can see a whole family of calendars coming from this...

Brian Miller said...

err...this one sounds a little wack to me...no pun intended...

That corgi :) said...

oh my gosh, this is the funniest thing I have read today. Your hubby is very creative (and quitea character I must add)

I'm thinking his biggest customers could be old widowed ladies

I'm also thinking he has a potentially unique idea here

wishing him (and you) luck if he goes forward with this :)

and happy new year!!


Natasha said...

LOL- That is totally something my hubby would suggest!!! You never know...maybe your sitting on a jackpot ;)

Jeanne said...

I bellowed as I read this. I used to own a concrete goose that had outfits for all the different holidays, but dressing up a penis is a new one. (Does the Rigid Tool calendar count? It only has pictures of babes, so I guess not.)

I had an idea for a women's version of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit calendar. If you're interested, it's described here: http://raisinchronicles.blogspot.com/2008/11/pinup-guys.html

La La La Leah said...

AWESOME..... I get my grandma a calendar every year for christmas. I don't think she would approve of this. Heck i don't think I could hang it in my home. But its awesome and a little disturbing.

Also Phase 10 is awesome!! they also make Phase 10 DICE which I think is a better game......

The pale observer said...

You never know, they made a calendar out of weirder things.. hubby might be onto something!

Great blog - just found it! I'm your latest follower :)

otin said...

So, I guess that my birthday would be Cocktober 7th? LMAO!!!

Green-Eyed Momster said...

My hubby never knows what day it is...well, maybe tomorrow, it's his birthday. I've blogged about it before and one of my bloggy friends suggested that I get him a calendar with boobs on it. I'm afraid if I did that he's just look at the boobs and still never know what day it is.

Your Hubby might be on to something! Maybe a T&A calendar for him and her? Run it by him and see what he thinks! ;)


Unknown Mami said...

Really, I'm shocked that this doesn't already exist. Not that I would want one, but I'm sure there would be quite a market for it in San Francisco where many men think outside the box. I hope you husband realizes that this will probably only be a huge hit in the gay community. I could be wrong, but I don't know too many women that would want fancy dress cocks on their wall.

Unknown Mami said...

P.S. I'll be linking to this post next Monday. Have a great New Year.

CatLadyLarew said...

Oh, yeah... it would make a great present for unwrapping at your parents' house on Christmas morning!

Jaime said...

GREAT idea... i still need to get myself a new calendar. where can i get myself one of those?

The Bumbles said...

I read your post to Andy and he asked if your hubby was gay ;0)

Dan said...

Heck, tell hubby I've got January covered with a nice knit outfit.

LiLu said...


Does he not know that penii are, um, generally not that pretty? Yanno unless you love them?

Little Ms Blogger said...

Working Mommy – I highly doubt it unless marketing to the gay community or as a gag gift.

Notthatkindofgirlblog – Penis origami? Wow, that is one talented troupe. The page a day calendar concept would be fun and maybe a coloring book or colorforms could be added.

Melanie’s Randomness – I told my sister your comment and she agreed.

Heckety - He was very happy to hear that you laughed. His ultimate goal was to make me laugh and get in my blog. You’ve helped fuel his cause of being a guest subject for future posts. I’m glad hubby thought it funny.

TudorCity Girl – Seriously, he probably wouldn’t.

Theschmuck – He liked your idea and thought if the orders were personalized, he could do a birthday month for anyone who special orders it.
Btw, why the name change?

CarrieBeth – I don’t either, but I did laugh my ass off at his scenarios and trying to convince my sister her cats would appreciate it.

Ink Obsession Designs – My hubby was very excited about your comment, apologizes for ruining your monitor, but was happy he made someone laugh.

Spot – I bet you’re thinking LMB is one lucky girl…..and I think you should buy for all friends or better yet, people you don’t like.

Actual Scale – There is a book about poop? I just heard there was a child’s book on the market entitled Let’s Do Nothing.
I like the paper doll idea – anything to dress it up and make it look pretty.

Little Ms Blogger said...

Kelly - My hubby said you were brilliant for recognizing the beauty of the calendar – I told him I was going to have him checked out.

Herding Cats – They may love it, but do they really love to stare at it?

Fgrngtllt – He’s something alright

Iva – Hubby was happy to hear he put a smile on your face.

Living & Loving in LA – I did not read him your comment because he’d just torture me with further suggestions. He’s already told me he pose the penis with a fireman’s hat on.

Brian - Yes it is. But so was his romantic dinner date ending with 2 straws and a quart of beer – why did you think that idea genius, but this one wacked?

That corgi – Creative or delusional? Old widowed ladies with bad eyesight would be a good target audience. Ummm…we’re never going with this.

Natasha – Actually, he’d be sitting on his jackpot idea.

Jeanne – I loved how Mr. January was in the hallway of the hospital right outside Mr. December’s room.

La La La Leah – Maybe you could give to the people who put in for a restaurant gift certificate for the angel tree?
Phase 10 was very fun. They have a dice game? I have to check it out.

The pale observer – I won’t share this comment with him – he doesn’t need a larger head.
Thanks for the compliment and the follow. I’ll come check you out.

Otin – Okay, this made me crack up ….and it made hubby crack up. Scary that the two of you may share the same sense of humor.

Green-Eyed Momster - A boob calendar? My hubby wouldn’t look at the days either. If you got hubby a penis calendar, he’d be so afraid to look at the picture he’d be forced to looked at the actual calendar.

Unknown Mami – I thought gay community until That Corgi pointed out the old widowers that might find this hot….and Melanie’s Randomness pointed out it would be a good bachelorette gift. Personally, tacky grab gifts is where I see the market for this.
I’m very excited I’m making Comment Mondays – I love reading it.

CatLadyLarew – Wouldn’t it? Especially with my 87 year old father.

Jaime – Well, he only thought of it on Sunday so he couldn’t make the 2010 market – but look out 2011 (NOT).

The Bumbles - Your comment cracked me up. Think Deadliest Catch and you have my hubby. He just loved that everyone thought him a genius with his $25 romantic date idea and he wanted back in the blog. Personally, I told him being a Yankees’ fan ruins any chance of him being a genius in my book.

Dan – LOL… Okay, that was very funny. Envisioning a little tiny scarf and hat set.

LiLu – He’s a boy. He thinks the penis is great and that’s all he cares about --- well that and making me laugh enough to get another entry into my blog. He loved the fact that people thought his romantic date idea (under $25 and ending with 2 straws and a quart of Colt 45) was genius and is a lazy blog whore (loves the attention, but would never write one).

Jennifer said...

Oh WOW! Hahahaha, he sounds hilarious! Wish I could have seen that conversation!

Teresa said...

Well maybe he is on to something!
I'd buy it...for sure!
Send it to my sissy for the HUGEST kick!
We (all of our girlfriends) were obsessed with penis' in our late
20s and early 30s!
Not so much in our 40s! HAAAA!
I was famous for making THE PENIS CAKE that I proudly presented at all lingerie showers!
Only detail I'll disclose..
it had a big red hot at the tip!!!!
That was my trademark!
Can't BELIEVE I just exposed my penis cake self!!!!
Funnnnnneeee post!

P said...

Hahaha, I'm amazed there's no penis calendar myself. Seriously???

Looking at the amount of comments on this post, I think I need to do genital related topics more... :)

An early happy New Year to you!

Badass Geek said...

A penis calendar. I'm sure there would be some market for them.

Little Ms Blogger said...

Jennifer – I think my sister wishes she wasn’t part of it.

Teresa – LOL…I’ll be sure to let him know he has takers.

P – I was too. I was hoping so I wouldn’t have to hear the elaborate plans on how a well dressed penis would sell.

Badass Geek – I’m sure there is and I think I’m a little too scared to explore the marketing of it.

glitterbygrammie said...

LMAO awesome idea. I can see it now. What about those that aren't well endowed. I know a forest of just tree trunks. BWAHHHHHHHH