Tuesday, December 15, 2009

My Holiday Letter

Tuesday, December 15, 2009....

I love receiving Christmas cards with the letter inside telling me what wonderful things people have been doing throughout the year. I admit, I don't do a letter and it's a hit or miss if you get a card from me.

This year, I'm going green. No cards. But...if I were to write a letter it would read like this:

1. traveled nowhere (unemployment will put a damper on going to exotic places, hell, I went to RI, it's an island, but exotic I think not).

2. job front - well, I interviewed at a lot of places over long periods of time that were window shopping (translation - they would pull the position).

3. volunteer -- I did raise monies for my local dog park (I don't own a dog, but why not pretend I have one) participating on a plant sale committee. When it was over, the president sent a shout out to the volunteers and mine was for making people laugh with my outlook on things (hmmm...note to self, behave oneself and remember all thoughts don't have to be turned into vocal words).

I also started a monthly food pantry dinner party based upon the weight I lose each month. I'm overweight and am at a point where I can't motivate myself to lose the weight for me, but if I can help others, I will. It breaks my heart to drop off the food every month.

4. marriage - it's been a year and Bill still tells me he loves me. I'm starting to think he's deaf and doesn't hear 1/2 the shit I say out loud. Who knows, but I'm not complaining. Love him to pieces.

5. how do I stay out of trouble -- well, I have no kids (which may be a blessing because who knows how they'd turn out under my influence - oh, that thought scares me) but I blog and people, other than my family, read my blog. Why? Who the hell knows. But I love it, met some great bloggers and learned new stuff to fill my brain(the Jersey Shore Drinking Game)

I also making a crack in my cookbook collection (it might be easier if new ones didn't magically appear).

See, that's my Christmas letter. Short and sweet. Now...if I were a superhero imagine how packed it would be full of fun stuff.

Happy Holidays from LMB....

p.s. I've learned my husband is a romantic guy...his ideas for romantic dates leave me speechless.

p.s.s. I've also learned my husband will not be naming any pets we get. Yesterday he told me if we got a male cat he'd call it boogers, female cat would be called snot. If a dog, well, he thinks "Crap" is the perfect name while out on a hike and your dog runs ahead of you. As he said, yelling out "crap" in the woods sounds so much better than yelling out "fuck." I think I have to give him this. Just glad we didn't have kids together. They'd probably get picked on for the names he'd come up with.


a neske said...

hahahah!! I agree with you on the pet names. My husband named our dog and she's Punky Monster. With several nicknames...

- black ass
- boogers
- tampon
- nibbler
- pillow biter

But I make him clean it up when company's around. Then it's just Punky.

No Christmas letters from us either, but I, too, enjoy getting them in the mail. They're hung all over our living room for decorations! So fun!

lacochran said...

In The Jerk, the dog's name was Shithead so, really, Crap's pretty tame.

Dan said...

At least he wasn't naming them on a theme like my friend who named his dogs Larry, Curly, and Moe (after the 3 Stooges).

Good luck on the job front - it is disconcerting to not find one when you know how capable you really are.

Tracey said...

If we didn't have kids, I'd totally have an animal named Fucker or Shit Head. Can you imagine the fun when the vet called to confirm the appointment for them? Or the mail that would come for them from the vet!?! When people at the park asked his/her name! LMAO! Hysterical!

I'm not sending out cards either. All my bloggy friends know what a horrible year 2009 was for me. It's been a roller coaster ride for sure.

I'm so proud of your accomplishments with your weight loss and your donations. I'm so glad we met too!
Green-Eyed Momster

Miss_Nobody said...

you did a lot of good stuff this year,go you,Lmb.glad I met you!Have wonderful holidays!

maria.palermo said...

There was a time when I thought Christmas newsletter were so self indulgent, but I actually do like receiving them, albeit only a few people in my circle of friends actually type one up. I did write out cards this year, but really cut back and I decided that once my list was done, it was done. I'm over the guilt of not sending a card to someone who didn't make my list.

Badass Geek said...

My wife won't let me name our future pets, either. Because I want to name them "Boy" or "Girl", gender specifically.

Brian Miller said...

lol. just envisioning him in the woods...for the most part you could have written my letter...hoping th new year brings jobs...

The Sorority said...

2010 is your year LMB! You have your great guy and your great job is right around the corner.

Happy Holiday to you and yours from me and mine! You are among the good ones in this world LMB!

The Bumbles said...

I enjoy oddly named creatures myself. But it probably is best if you keep all the naming rights.

Oh - and beer straws are effective. Romantic? Not so much.

DSS said...

By far the best Christmas card I've read yet :)

Jules said...

That's why we don't do a letter too.

Hubby once said if we ever had kids, he'd name it with all vowels, like "Yieya."

Hence, no kids.

otin said...

You have such a natural dry comedy to you. I cannot help but giggle at your posts.

Well, he still says he loves me, but he must be deaf! hahahaha!

Barb said...

I love your letter, although I have to admit that if we get them I only read them if they are short. I don't need all the details about kids of hubby's cousins that I've never met. Happy Holidays!

Ice Queen said...

That's too funny. I think if I wrote one I would just fill it with lies of the extravagant life I wish I were living.

rxBambi said...

I love the food pantry idea. Good on you for thinking of it.

The Peach Tart said...

All in all sounds like a pretty damn good girl.

Captain Dumbass said...

I don't see anything wrong with your husband's names.

Vodka Logic said...

After a year and the husband doesn't listen to you? what is mine doing after 29.... lol

Helen McGinn said...

*LOL* Your husband cracks me up.

I'm a big fan of Beef Wellington. Good luck with it; the brioche will be lovely with it...mmmmmmmm. You will do well, I just know it.


Little Ms Blogger said...

A neske – Punky has the most unusual nicknames. Does the dog ever have an identity crisis?

Lacochran – The Jerk is a classic movie which my husband has never seen (hmmm….I’m rethinking why I married him missing an all time classic)

Dan – I HATE THE STOOGES. I find that only men like the Stooges and women, when asked, will choose Monty Python (I’ve actually done a poll).

Tracey – That would be funny. My last pet, a cat, was named Static. I had enough double takes when I brought her to the vet with that name.

Miss Nobody – Why thank you. I’m glad I met you. You have a lot of talent and know you’ll do something great with it.

Maria.Palermo – DB cuts people off her list if she hasn’t gotten one from them in 3 years. She keeps this database in excel. She frightens me. I’m just happy I’m family and am not on the list.

Badass Geek – Your wife is a very smart woman.

Brian Miller – I hope it does and about the dog, he’d definitely do it if I’d let him. My husband is very comfortable in his own skin and it would never bother him if others gave him funny looks.

The Sorority – Why thank you and the same back. I look forward to reading more adventures with you and Wilson.

The Bumbles – Neither is sitting in a freezing car drinking icky beer --- my hubby, will never be seen on t.v. giving romance tips on Valentine’s Day.

DSS – Thank you. It was actually as an email in response to my friend who leads a very adventurous life.

Jules - LOL. Yeah, that kid would certainly be given a nickname very quickly in life.

Otin – Why thank you. It’s true.

Barb – I think it would be really fun to send out an imaginary one. However, I agree with you about reading about people I’ve never met. Not fun.

Ice Queen – I’d love to receive a letter like that.

rxBambi – Thank you. I’m spending the day prepping for tomorrow – lots of work for recipes I’ve never tried. I hope I don’t kill the guests.

The Peach Tart – Thank you.

Captain Dumbass – Of course you don’t. Good thing your wife probably names the kids and pets.

Vodka Logic. Simple. Your husband pretends he’s Tiger Woods and everyday he’s with a new one of his mistresses.

Helen – I hope so. I’ll let you know.

Miss_Nobody said...

I have a little something for you!

Impressions Of My Life At The Moment said...

I adore this:)

Sunshine Mama said...

I think Christmas letters are good, I just get impatient with taking the time to read them. It's really a nice way for people to get a nice synopsis of their lives.

Sorry about the job front for you. Other than that, it sounds like you're enjoying life and have a great husband to share it with.

Thanks for the suggestion about going to 20 weeks, I think I will change it to that.

Have a great day!

Leslee said...

Best.Christmas.Letter received!!!

Laughed out loud...

P.S. Your husband sounds AWESOME!!!