Monday, August 31, 2009

I'm Definitely Not a Morning Person

Monday, August 31, 2009.....

Apparently, before my husband left for work, around 6:00 a.m., I felt it important to tell him I wasn't going to Woodstock (music festival) in a boat and we weren't going to stop along the way for hot dogs.

According to my hubby, I was adamant about the hot dogs. Which surprises me because I love hot dogs. In fact, it's one of the reasons I'm not a vegetarian.

He said he kissed me goodbye and I walked back to the bedroom where I promptly climbed into bed and went back to sleep.

Sometimes, my dreams are out there, but I can link them to something I'm working out in my real life. This one.....I'm drawing a blank....

Any suggestions?

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Maybe It's Time to Change Careers....

Thursday, August 27, 2009....

After yesterday's phone interview, I spent the afternoon thinking if I should change my career. I had done it twice before and maybe being out of work for the past 15 months is a sign that I should.

I should preface that my interview went well, but I definitely feel as though I don't have a fighting chance. I don't think I ever had one, because the recruiter clued me in at the end of our conversation that the hiring manager is adamant about hiring a person with extensive technical knowledge.

I felt defeated, angry and annoyed.

Sure, I may not get a second interview, but I wanted it to be based upon the information shared during the interview, not based upon information that the recruiter clearly knew prior to our interview and needed in a candidate.

As I was hosting my own personal pity party (sometimes I have them), I reflected upon the brilliant idea that Edder came up with last week.

Sure it was another award bestowed upon me, I Shoulda Been a Stripper , but it started me thinking...

My stripper name is Lady Weed (this is determined by having your first name be your first pet's name and your last name is the street you grew up on.) How could I possibly go wrong with a name like that?

I believe this to be a sign. Maybe even a calling.

Sure, I'm over the optimal age of being a successful stripper, have real breasts (which means gravity has set in), definitely lacking the body any man (or woman) would want to see naked on stage. Combine these lovely attributes with with dance moves like Elaine on the t.v. show Seinfeld and it is obvious I need to put my thinking cap back on.

Now, that I've decided this isn't the right career change for me, let honor this award properly.

I’m told that the guidelines of this award are to list 7 of your personality traits, as evidenced on your blog and then pass the award on to 7 other blogs with notable personality. I’ve also been told that I am allowed to keep a copy of said award on my sidebar forever. And ever. Yay for me!

So there. Here we go:

1. Rude People Annoy Me: As evidenced by my rants about inconsiderate people in parking lots and pushy people in grocery stores.

2. Cooking: The fact that my profile states I have an obscene number of cookbooks and I'd spend 3 1/2 hours in 90 degree heat cooking a meal clearly shows my passion for it.

3. Harmless: If the bunny in my yard mocks me, I apparently scare no one.

4. Mysterious: Although I reveal bits and pieces about me, there is still a lot to know.

5. Random: Have you not seen my postings? Other than Rant & Rave Wednesdays, there is no real theme to this blog. That's why I chose the name A Little Blog About Nothing.

6. Unemployed. I'd normally say this is a state I'm in, not a personality trait, but it has impacted the way I look at things which I don't think will change once employed (e.g. appreciating simple things more.

7. More of an Optimist than a Pessimist: Evident by the fact that I typically have more raves than rants on Wednesdays.

OK, that's my set. Seven fascinating traits about me. Thanks for indulging me and thanks, too, to Edder for the award. It looks like this and will remain on my sidebar for all eternity.

About the 7 I have to tag. Tomorrow...or Monday...I have to think this through (alright, I'm lazy at the moment)....

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Rant and Rave Wednesday

Wednesday, August 25, 2009....

Any readers following me on a regular basis know if it's Wednesday, it's time to Rant and Rave about the past week. Without further adieu, here are my Rants and Raves from the past week:

Rave: I've noticed the time from resume to rejection or interview has shortened greatly. Initially, I was seeing 3 to 6 month turnarounds and last week, I submitted a resume on Friday and had a phone interview today.

Rant: In my opinion, I will not be getting this job. It is not because of my primary skill set or experience, it is because I don't have hardcore technical knowledge. Unless the hiring manager is willing to take a chance, which I get the feeling he's not from what the recruiter told me, I can kiss this job goodbye. On a positive note, the recruiter liked me.

Rave: Ipod. I love this invention. I love that when I do my 30 minutes on my awesome stationery bike that I can have my own karaoke/American Idol session. Best part, I suck, but I'm the only judge. Who cares if I don't know all the words, sing off key, it passes the time away.

Rant: Reading an 'okay' book. Ever read a book that takes forever. Your expectations were higher than what was delivered, but you can't put it down. You're hoping that with every new page, things will get better. I'm still waiting.

Rant: My arch nemesis, bunny, doesn't appear to be frightened of me. He will stand 5 feet away from me and continue to chew on my cucumber plant - WTH??? Shouldn't I appear as a giant to him? Shouldn't he be running? Nope. He just mocks me.

Rave: Space saver bags. Ya know the ones you see on the info commercials - the ones that reduce a king size comforter into a small package....Well, it works. Yay for me...This product gives hope to all people who live in very small Cape Cod homes built in the late 1940s.

Rave: Hubby returns from a 7 day fishing adventure with his brother. No fishing because of the hurricane, but no return of the husband because his brother wanted to stay where they were.

Rant: I have to clean my fridge out. I hate doing it, but the show Hoarders on A&E has motivated me to kick it into high gear.

Rave: Living and Loving LA bestowed this gem on me the other day:

There are things I need to do and will in a separate post - Thanks L&L LA!

That's it for me. Any Rants and Raves you want to share? I would love to hear them. Green Eyed Momster and Matty Thoughtshave posted her own R&R Wednesday. Check it out. That's it for me. Any Rants and Raves you want to share? I would love to hear them.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

I Know Cool People (said in the tone of "I See Dead People")

Tuesday, August 25, 2009...

Last night I met a friend for coffee. After catching up, the conversation came around to a statement my friend made about knowing more fun people.

After I busted her chops about knowing me, I understood where she was coming from. She's in a rut and needs to just branch out. She's grown over the years I've known her, but the core group of friends she's hung out with for years, really hasn't.

Personally, I made changes several years back over the people I hang with. I don't know if it was turning 40 or the fact that I had a bad health scare at 39, but I just knew I had to make changes in regards to the people I choose to be close with.

This morning I was thinking about my conversation with my friend last night and it made me realize I know some really cool people that don't broadcast it.

Last week, I learned that my friend Sharon and her kids help a neighbor with her veggie garden. The woman has two enormous gardens and one was designed with the sole purpose of growing veggies for the local food bank. She is teaching her kids how to give back to the community and I can tell how much she's enjoying doing it too. Kudos to her!

Last night, I was talking with my oldest sister, she lurks around my blog, but is not the one that posts. She's 60 and is a great example that life over 40, 50 or 60 does not mean you pack it in.

Last year, she participated in 2 triathlons, this year 5 to date. She has two more scheduled and her next being in the nation's capital.

Her enthusiasm has rubbed off onto others. Her husband, recovering from knee surgery, asked his doctor recently if he could train for one. My other sister, YogaGirl, and I have agreed to do one with her as part of a relay team (YogaGirl swims, oldest sister bikes and I run).

I think people that can instill change quietly upon others are cool. She hasn't forced her husband or my sister and I to want to participate in a tri, it is her enthusiasm that has created an infectious attitude to want to try.

I hope my friend creates a life with people that she finds 'cool'. I have many more cool people in my life, but these are the ones that have been weighing on my mind.

Monday, August 24, 2009

No Worst Dressed List for Moi!

Monday, August 24, 2009....

In one fell swoop, I am going to properly accept almost all the awards given to me over the past few months. So here goes:

Sunshine Meg gave me the Love Ya Award back in June and although I raved about it, I need to be a good blogger and move it forward.

Here are the rules:

"This award is bestowed on to blogs that are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers. Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award."

My 8! Dan at the Art of Panic
kk at Will Work for Shoes
Children of the Nineties
Helen at Feeding Five for Fifty
Heather at Now I'm a Grownup
The Optimist Pessimist
Tudor City Girl
Simply Stephanie

Thanks to all of you for making me laugh constantly. Love the stories that are shared each day.

Constructive Attitude at Symphonic Discord bestowed 4 awards on me. Four...can you believe it? Wow. I'm stunned and speechless. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Love Ya Award:

Green Eyed Momster
The Actor's Diet
Two Neskes

Vespa Blogger Friendship Award:

Jewels Diva

and Silly Stud if he ever decides to blog again.

Best Blogging Buddies:

Venti Issues
a corgi
Simply Stephanie
Float On


Living and Loving L.A.
Girl Inspired
Midtown Girl

I was given no rules, but would like to acknowledge 4 fellow bloggers for each award. That sounds fair.

Yesterday, Jenny Mac of Let's Have a Cocktail bestowed this on me:

Jenny also bestowed the award to Green Eyed Momster who in turn, gave it to me again. I guess there is more than one person that thinks I give good blog.

The rules for this wonderful award are to make a cocktail, pick out some of your favorite bloggers. Send this award to 4 of them. Tell them why you think they give good blog.

Since I've been doubly blessed with this award, I will sip two French Martinis (once I get the recipe down) and nominate the following 8 people.

Constructive Attitude at Symphonic Discord for opening my eyes

Whimsy for sharing such a personal journey of meeting her biological father and brother

Just Playing Pretend and her outstanding post on why mayonnaise is scary

The Peach Tart for making me laugh

Andy for his excellent reviews of Maxim and Cosmo

Chris for answering the question of what happened to baby bear and hermie the dentist. Chris was also kind enough to clear up the mystery for me of what happened to the monkeys from The Wizard of Oz.

LiLu for not only putting out great material daily, but also having comebacks to everyone's comments.

Edder She has many tremendous posts, but this one, her love of Starbucks making home delivery, had me hooked. Her excitement about having a Starbuck's barista appear at her doorstep was clear and obvious to me -- it almost made me a bit envious.

Now, I have to notify everyone...Now, I know why it is bad to hold onto awards...Now, I won't be so lazy....But, I got to wear shorts and a T-shirt while thanking the many bloggers who extended well wishes on me with these great awards and paying it forward...

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Good Thoughts Can Sometimes be Dumb Ideas...

Sunday, August 23, 2009....

Sometimes I get a brilliant thought which I believe to be a fabulous idea until I execute it. I would say this holds true with every household project I undertake by myself with no guidance. However, today's post has nothing to do with me destroying my home under the guise of beautifying it. Instead it is about a 'fun and EASY' evening I planned the other night.

Hubby is out of town. He went tuna fishing, but Hurricane Bill put an end to that thought. However, he's still away with his brother and I had some free time on my hands.

I thought, why not go see the Julie/Julia movie with a gf of mine, but cook one of Julia's meals prior to the movie. Not owning any Julia cookbook, I went to the bookstore to purchase her cookbook that made her a household name "Mastering the Art of French Cooking".

In addition to this book, I picked up several other cookbooks (like I need more cookbooks) and poured over the pages of them. Cookbooks are my version of crack to a crack addict. I become lost on the pages.

Originally, I planned a roast chicken + some veggie + chocolate mousse. My friend is limiting her carbs so I was tossing out the starch. However, she asked if I would make Beef Bourguignon and I said sure.

How hard could it be? I'm always braising foods in the winter (osso bucco, stew, ribs). The longer a dish cooks, the happier I am.

The directions were simple, intricate, but simple -- however, no store around me sells a SLAB OF BACON. What's up with that? Sliced bacon worked out fine. The meal was tasty, but I want to note the following:

1. Why did I have to flip to two additional recipes to make one dish? I had to cook the mushrooms and onions separately and an ill prepared person (me and the fact I sometimes have the attention span of a knat) may have not read the need for cheesecloth. Luckily, I was prepared. But I swear the cheesecloth I purchased resembled gauze more than cheesecloth. [Bonus for me when I fall again while racing for the phone, for a call I don't want, and bang up my knee (yeah, that happened - just call me grace-in-motion)].

2. Initially I thought Julia needed a little therapy as she stresses in each recipe to separate the meat, the mushrooms, the onions when browning them in the frying pan. After I got over my initial thought that she may be claustrophobic, I realized she wanted me to do this so the food would actually brown and not become mushy and soggy caused by steam if the food is too close together while cooking.

3. It is true. This woman loves butter. The mousse had 1 1/2 sticks of it in it (I have so much left over because my husband is the chocolate lover and not me).

4. I don't know if the food was FABULOUS. If you cook in 90 degree weather (yes the house has 2 window air conditioning units which don't seem to make it to the kitchen) you have no desire to eat or enjoy your work.

This meal took a total of 3 1/2 hours to prep and cook. Was it worth it? I think so. My friend enjoyed it. Well, she said she did. She saw the knives in the kitchen, knew how hot it was and possibly thought it best to say she enjoyed it to avoid a woman who may had become delusional from the heat.

We ended up drinking a great french wine and a bit of champagne before heading out. We both enjoyed the movie and I hope it spurs people to cook more at home.

Personally, I'd cook another Julia meal, but may wait until it is cooler and I have a sous chef to help.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Rant and Rave Wednesday

Wednesday, August 18, 2009...

Any readers following me on a regular basis know if it's Wednesday, it's time to Rant and Rave about the past week. Without further adieu, here are my Rants and Raves from the past week:

Rant: I finally heard back from the company I interviewed with in early July - no go. To add insult to injury, the cute bunny in my yard, ate one of my brussel sprout plants - MY FAVORITE VEGGIE. I'm becoming like hubby and am officially on a mission. Next time bunny comes to snack, he/she'll be in for surprise - cayenne pepper! (fyi - it is much easier for me to focus on bunny issue than disappointment from job).

Rave: I love that my hubby is a great caretaker. Last night, no exception. As we were watching t.v., a Raisin Maid commercial came on. Has anyone seen how creepy she is? She is the BK's King female counterpart. To lighten the mood, hubby made the quick observation that he's surprised that no one has taken these creepy spokespersons and made them the stars of a porn movie....Okay, it was much funnier in the moment.

Rave: In cooking, I love to experiment with new foods and recipes. However, I've never really branched into creating my own recipe and came up with a great one for zucchini (which I have a ton of at the moment). It was yumbo and hubby liked it too. I can't explain it, but getting the right flavor profile is a real high for me.

Rave: Great weekend catching up with friends and sleep (yeah, I know, unemployed, but it doesn't mean I am a good sleeper).

That's it for me. Any Rants and Raves you want to share? I would love to hear them. Green Eyed Momster, and Mrs 4444 has posted her own R&R Wednesday. Check it out.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Tag I'm It.....

Tuesday, August 17, 2009....

I have to admit, when Modern Mom tagged me for this meme, I thought why not. My last meme seemed to provide a better insight into me, why not shed some more light.

The rules were simple enough, erase her answers and fill in my own. Here it goes!

1. Who is the hottest Movie Star? I love Jon Hamm, but I wonder if it's because of the character he plays. Nah...he's hot. I can list many other hot movie stars, but will also admit to a long crush on Sam Waterson. Yup. Sam Waterson.

2. Apart from your house and car, what is the most expensive item you have ever bought? Ever? Hmmm.....I'll go back 12 months and say my wedding gown. It was painfully expensive for a dress that was very simple.

3. What is you most treasured memory? Wow. I imagine this question is like asking a parent with multiple children, which is your favorite child...I'm going to take the road Modern Mom did and do multiple memories - a) childhood: spending my summers sailing with gf and going with my dad to early 4 am hockey practices to watch him coach, b)young adulthood: living in Boston, buying a house, getting married to husband #1, c)35+: divorcing husband #1, having my sister and her friends waiting for me at the finish line of my marathon in Dublin, hiking the Grand Canyon on my 40th birthday with strangers who became my friends for 7 days, kayaking across LI Sound (13.1 miles) to raise $$ for local charities, spending one amazing night in NYC with close friends to celebrate my 40th bday (Le Bernardin is one amazing restaurant) and learning that I had cancer.

4. What was the best gift you ever received as a child? I can't remember. I can remember the worst. My mother surprised in the 3rd grade with a fancy dress and I cried. I hate surprises and my mother never surprised me again. Only surprise to this day I've enjoyed is my sister showing up with her friends in Dublin to support me when I did my marathon for Leukemia.

5. What is the biggest mistake you have ever made? LOL. Isn't every mistake really a hidden opportunity?

6. 4 words to describe yourself? Really? I hate these questions because I see myself so differently than how people would describe me.

7. What was your highlight or low light of 2008? Highlight - marrying my husband, Bill.

8. Favorite Film? I answered this in my last meme as follows: I don't have just one, but here are some that come to mind: Clockwork Orange, When Harry Met Sally, The Jerk, Rebecca, Shawshank Redemption, Dodgeball. I could on, but these are the ones that came to mind first.

9. Tell me one thing I don’t know about you. I have a bizarre need to ensure that all ice cube trays are full (bet you didn't see that one coming).

10. If you were a comic book/strip or cartoon character, who would you be? Wonder Woman - who wouldn't want that body, brains, power and INVISIBLE PLANE.

The five bloggers I am tagging with this Meme are:

Girl Inspired

Helen at Feeding Five for Fifty


Living and Loving LA

Going Dutch

Hope you all like playing along!

Monday, August 17, 2009

Blog Housekeeping

Monday, August 16, 2009....

Over the past few months, people have recognized my little space in this big blog universe.

I've graciously accepted their nods, but have been a slacker as to executing the responsibility with accepting their gestures. I've wondered if it is because I didn't know what to wear? How to act? Have a great speech ready? None to these.

The reason I've been such a slacker is my inability to master placing the lovely awards on my blog -- yup, I have a case of UI. I know I can cure this with reading the Blogger help, but have chosen to read other blogs or just enjoy the weather. However, no longer. I am going to now properly accept the awards AND eventually figure out how to place them on the left nav bar of my blog.

Without further adieu, let me start:

Miss Nobody bestowed the One Lovely Blog Award.

The responsibilities of accepting this award include me:

1) Accepting the award, posting it on my blog together with the name of the person who granted me the award, with his or her blog link. - Check

2) Pass the award to 15 other blogs that I have recently discovered. I need to contact the bloggers to let them know I have chosen for this award. - Hmmm... 15 bloggers - more like 7 because I have to acknowledge bloggers for other honors bestowed upon me Wow...I've really let this celebrity blogger thing status go to my head. Bestowed upon me? Really? Who talks like that......

I'm thinking I'll just list some bloggers I've recently discovered. Some new to the blogging universe, others recently added to my list.

I'll let them know and they can do whatever they like with this honor. I don't want anyone to feel pressure to buy a new dress, shoes or end up on someone's world's worst blog entry list -- Wait, that can't happen in Blogger world.

Without further adieu, here they are in no random order:

Cooking for Assholes
Sarah in Paris
Food With Style

Do I need to remind anyone I love cooking

Wizard of Otin
West Coast Newlywed
Let's Have a Cocktail
Life Letters

Okay, I'm stopping here. I have several other awards and know I will need to acknowledge other bloggers in the universe that make my day.

Thanks again Miss Scribbles for the shout out.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Rant and Rave Wednesday

Wednesday, August 11, 2009...

Any readers following me on a regular basis know if it's Wednesday, it's time to Rant and Rave about the past week. Without further adieu, here are my Rants and Raves from the past week:

Rant: I was catching up on the blogs I follow this morning and read a recurring nightmare - Blogger lost people's follow list. I felt their pain because it happened to me last Thursday for a few hours. However, at 8:00 a.m., Blogger did the same nasty thing to me and ERASED ALL MY BLOGS I FOLLOW. Blogger, I'm so hating you at the moment.

Rave: This came from my garden

Rant: Poison Ivy on my wrists also came from my garden.

Rave: I won fabulous awards from Constructive Attitude and Edder which I will post about in a separate entry.

Rave: No crazy people in grocery stores or grocery store parking lots. Oh wait, haven't had to shop this week. I think that is the true Rave -- not grocery shopping.

Rave: My 87 year old father, Spidey Man, wasn't able to scale 2 stories and climb in a window.

Rant: New scale is mean. It doesn't register what I want to see. Damn thing tells me the truth. Go figure. A day of bad eating, okay several, would register on the scale.

Rant: My sister mentioned today that in 6 months, Curling in the Olympics starts up. I told her to shut her pie hole about this. She knows the rules. No talk about Curling in the Olympics until she actually plays it.

That's it for me. Any Rants and Raves you want to share? I would love to hear them. Green Eyed Momster has posted her own R&R Wednesday. Check it out.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Spidey Man and Key Privileges

Monday, August 10, 2009....

From reading the comments on Thursday's post, it seems as though I've created a mystery with how I lost my key privileges to my parents' home.

I initially emailed two people with a very, very brief explanation and realized my email explanation sucked -- so, I decided to try to capture it in this post.

First, I need to set the stage....

1... I never was asked to give back the key I had for decades. I surrendered my key because an extra key was needed (either a sibling was visiting for an extended stay, or one of my parents lost their key). It was trying to getting a key back a decade later that I realized my privileges were revoked.

2... For purposes of all future posts, my dad will now be known as Spidey Man.

Second, you need to know a bit more about Spidey Man.....

1. Both parents grew up during the depression and lived a frugal lifestyle.

2. He worked till the age of 75 because he LOVED what he did and LOVED commuting into NYC everyday. Up till this age, he had a wallet. A few weeks after retirement, he traded the wallet in for a rubber band to secure his cash and carried a little notebook to record each and every purchase made (God bless my mom).

3. Spidey Man was a friend to all, but stubborn and ALWAYS believes he is right (this becomes crucial fact).

4. After retirement, Spidey began to donate to everyone - nuns, Indian reservations in TN and I bet even foundations that supported midgets water wrestling [okay, he didn't, but he did donate to groups that sent him lovely items to thank him for his generous support, a.k.a. crap (favorite is the hand-crank paper shredder that he tried giving me this past Christmas. It stood about 2 ft high and I wondered what 3rd world country was exploiting children to make this)].

Between the ages of 75 and 87, Spidey began to become more and more paranoid about dispensing personal information (maybe not such a bad thing since I've had my credit card # stolen twice) which perpetuated his need to sign up for "FREE" credit screening services.

During this same time, my mom started to go further and further into the deep end. Spidey wasn't really ready to see it, but I think she knew something was amiss. At one point, she stopped eating. He couldn't coax her to eat so my sister and I would go to the house and convince her to eat. My sister took the dinner shift, me, the lunch shift as I worked from home.

Although mom was always home, I asked for a key. I figured since Spidey was out frequently, mom might just lock the door and I wouldn't be able to get in. Instead of Spidey saying 'sure', I got the response, "we'll leave the door unlocked, don't worry, no need for a key."

Hmmm...okay. Didn't give it much thought because I was focused on getting mom to eat lunch. Eventually, things got back on track and I forgot all about the key brush off. Alright, I didn't forget, just didn't feel it was worth it to find out why no key for me.....

Fast forward Fall 2008....two things happen:

1....My hubby and I go over to look at his lawnmower. Lawnmower outside and not of interest to me. I decide to stay in, but the way Spidey kept asking me to come out with them, you'd think he was afraid to leave me alone in his house with his valuables (a bunch of old romance novels, Emily Post Etiquette book and the free crap from many charities). I refused and stood my ground. I could tell he was unsettled and really didn't care. On the way home, I asked my husband if he noticed Spidey's behavior. He said 'Yeah, it's as though he acted like you were going to rob him.' So, it wasn't just me.

2....Two weeks later, Spidey calls me about some charges on his credit card bill. He asks if I signed him up for anything and I said no. I think he thought I stole his credit card while in the house and signed him up for .....wait for it.... "discounted prescription drugs offered to Senior Citizens".

Besides the fact I wouldn't do that, how do I get passed his rubber band wallet?

After saying no, I explained that credit card companies offer their customers special services at a reduced rate - did he get a call? No. Of course not. What was I thinking? The man probably did, but refusing to admit he has a hearing a problem would mean he screwed up.

I think he asked me several times. If he weren't 86 at the time, I could be offended. Instead, I backed up his plan to take it direct to his bank for a new card and explain the charge was fraudulent.

He goes. He obviously gets the right person because I have the following phone conversation with the bank teller:

bank teller: Ms. LMB, your father is here with me and I need to ask you a question.

LMB: Are you wondering if I made a charge with my dad's card?

BT: Why, yes. How did you know?

LMB: Because he can't believe he could. I went further to explain, he keeps the card and all financial information close-to-the-vest and I have never even touched his credit card (rubber band has made that impossible for anyone to). Please remove the charge, cancel his card and we'll set up a plan to ensure that this will not be happening in the future.

Things with my dad changed after that. My sister really began to look at his finances and I helped clear a bunch of stupid items my dad charged on his card.

Spidey will never admit he screwed up. I will never correct him. I'm flattered that Spidey thinks I could pick his pocket, master the rubber band makeshift wallet and put everything back in place without him noticing (I should mention, I think he has his notebook and rubber band wallet are on his person 24/7). I also know how important it is for him to have some dignity while growing old.

However, I don't tolerate certain behaviors that I know really help him anymore. Hearing aid must be in when around me and if I need something, he now gives it to me -- like a key to the house. :-)

Okay, that's my story. Not sure if funny, but trust me, if you saw the rubber band wallet, you'd laugh.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

My Dad is Spiderman

Thursday, August 6, 2009...

Background: I am the youngest of 5 in a family that used the rhythm method for birth control. My mom turned 40 and had me the next day and dad was 43 when born. Currently mom lives in nursing with Alzheimer's, while dad is very active in the community and in great shape for an 87 year man.

My dad is very happy-go-lucky, always saying thank you to people, non confrontational, doesn't raise his voice - the type of person that people easily approach and ask him questions. He rarely gets frazzled, but when he does, it is very tricky to calm him down.

Last night I get this panicked call from my father. This was our conversation:

Dad: I locked the house keys in the car which is in the garage that I can't get into.

Me: Let's call M (my sister) she'll have a key (for reasons very funny and too long to explain in this post, I don't have a key to their house).

Dad: She's in Baltimore for a seminar. She told me she was going to be in Baltimore for a seminar.

Me: No, you were just there this past weekend for an outing at other sister's home (I did not go because I knew the car ride alone would have killed my back right now).

Dad: No, no, she's there. (At this point I remember 2 things - 1) my sister had plans locally on Monday night; and 2) I had heard he refused to wear his hearing aid this past weekend.)

Me. I tell him, not to worry that I'd be down in 1/2 hour (traffic at 4:00 pm becomes a bit crazy), but definitely don't worry.

Dad: He says okay and tells me he'll be at neighbor's house.

I hang up and call sister who is at work. I explain the situation and she does have a key, but tells me this gem - "It doesn't matter that I have the key to kitchen door, he locks the screen door" (which can only be unlocked from the inside).

WTF? I ask why and then realize that I know there is no good reason. I told her if I couldn't get the garage keypad working, I'd page her.

Hubby just got home so I recruited him and his 40 lb toolbox to help me (can anyone tell me the importance of having a toolbox that has so many tools your wife can't pick up???). We get there and it's not the battery to the garage keypad.

By now, my dad and the neighbor come over and she explains how she couldn't calm him down. I told her it best to just let him talk it out (best description of my dad when he's like this, is a dog chasing his tail. Eventually, he wears himself out and calms down).

As my hubby is working on opening the stupid screen door (at this point, called sister and she'll be over after work with key), my dad throws out this gem:



Wait. It gets better. His neighbor says, "Oh, Emil, I'd climb through the window for you" then looks at me and asks if she should get a ladder from her house and I say no (I forgot to tell my 2 sisters this part of the story because I thought it best to leave out the part that dad's neighbor is a bit nuts).

Hubby explains that although the window is ajar, we'd still have to cut the screen (for some reason cutting a screen is not an option in my dad's mind, but scaling a two-story house doesn't seem to be a problem).

The neighbor (who was very nice) leaves and we sit with my father and chat till my sister comes with the kitchen key (hubby had successfully unlocked the screen door without any damage to the door).

When I tell my sister dad's solution she was appalled and in a joking manner threatened him that he be put in the home with my mom.

Although my dad's solution to scale a two-story house (did I mention if he fell, it would be on concrete) is a bit extreme, I understand where I get my gift of extreme solution offerings to my sister, Yoga Girl.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Rant and Rave Wednesday

Wednesday, August 5, 2009....

Any readers following me on a regular basis know if it's Wednesday, it's time to Rant and Rave about the past week. Without further adieu, here are my Rants and Raves from the past week:

Rave: Last week, my sister and her friend ventured into NYC for a canceled Steeley Dan concert. It turned out they rescheduled the concert for 8/12 - the day my sister's friend is on vacation. In a different state. Extra ticket. For me. Woo Hoo.

Rant: The excitement of going to the Steeley Dan concert lasted 2 whole days. In 2 days, my sister discovered tickets were still available for last night's performance and she was able to swap the tickets. What performer has decent seats still available 3 days before the show? [note: In full disclosure, I knew when the tickets were first offered there was this caveat that I'd go if they couldn't swap the tickets. However, when does this EVER happen?]

Rave: My friend's wedding gift, the compose tumbler, arrived. Yeah, I may be a dork, but a happy one.

Rant: People in parking lots. The other day I was pulling out of Whole Food's parking lot avoiding pedestrians. One on a cellphone, but she moved over to one side (sure, only because she reached her car) and another just turned around and saw my car. Did he move to one side or the other? Nope. He kept walking straight down the middle. People? Move it or lose it. Eventually he moved to one side (he found his car) and I gunned my turbo Passat right past him (okay, gunned at 10 mph is an exaggeration).

Rave: Discovering this website Kitchen Arts & Letters. A trip into NYC is in my future.

Rant: While checking out in grocery store, this woman pushed her way to stand right in front of the credit card swipe machine. She had missed the fact that my husband, 6'3", was standing 3 inches from the machine packing some bags. I was at the end of the conveyor belt packing bags and watching her. You could tell she wanted to push my husband out of the way and move her cart through. Best part, we JUST started checking out.

Rave: The pushy lady in grocery store overheard me say to hubby - "do you think that woman pushed you past the credit card machine so she could pay for our groceries? How thoughtful of her."

Yeah, I hate grocery shopping.

Rave: A couple of week's ago miss.chief's posted an entry: I took word verification off my blog. This post changed my life forever. If you have blogger, do this. I realize that I try posting on many blogs, but sometimes close out prior to finishing the word verification process. I figured if it drove me nuts, it might drive others the same who post on my blog.

That's it for me. Any Rants and Raves you want to share? I would love to hear them. rxBambi and Sheri at Life, Love and Other Drama has posted her own R&R Wednesday. Check it out.

Monday, August 3, 2009

The Lost Art of.....

Monday, August 3, 2009....

Today I was reading inkOBSESSION and as an anniversary give-away, she's offering a gift cert to her shop. She sells great cards/invites/we've moved cards etc. which started me thinking. When was the last time I've sent or received a letter?

Granted, I love the instant satisfaction that an email gives you, but admit to being a paper whore. I've kept journals over the years and always meander into the journal section of any book store to just look.

I have personalized stationery, fun cards and great invites - all requiring to ol' school it (mail vs. email).

I love her cards and that she shares a bit of her life with her readers. If employed, I know I'd be dropping $$$ there.

In addition to the Lost Art of Letter Writing, I've noticed that there is a growing tendency for people not to listen to one another. I understand how technology replaced the written letter, but has technology replaced the ability to listen to one another?

I'm not sure.

What I do know is that many people are in such a hurry they've forgotten they've called you to inquire about you. I don't know if it's because they're multi-tasking and on the Internet, checking text messages on their phone, or programming their dvr, but as I get older, I notice my patience for horrible listeners have no place in my life.

A 'horrible' listener is not a person that doesn't remember the minor happenings in my life, but major events. It would be the person who had forgotten you had a sex change and your name is no longer Jane, but Jim (note: I have not had a sex change, but used this dramatic example to really define my point).

When I was in my early 20's, my ex-father-in-law would ask me how many siblings I had. After about the 10th time, I realized he wasn't listening and told him 13. I might have added that my oldest sister, a research scientist at John Hopkins, was working on the cure for cancer at that very moment in time. My sister is a researcher at Johns Hopkins, but was she working on the cure for cancer, not sure, but doubt it.

My point to my rambling is that I don't want you to call me under the guise you actually care about my life if you're not going to listen and then laugh about forgetting major events I've shared with you. It's insulting.

I know everyone is juggling a zillion things, but don't have me open up to you if you really have no intention of listening. I'd respect you more if you called me and said LMB, I really just want to talk about me for the next hour.