10 Things to Never Do at a Wedding

Friday, August 8, 2008.....

I couldn't resist. I came across this article on Yahoo! and decided to post with my comments. Seriously, are people really stupid enough to complain to the bride about the food?

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10 Things to Never Do at a Wedding
By Rita Mauceri and Elycia Rubin

The day two people exchange vows may not be your special day, but it's someone's special day, so be on your best behavior -- all the way from the I -do's to the obligatory Gloria Gaynor dance marathon...

1. Don't Be Fashionably Late As the song says, get to the church on time! Allow enough time to get to there 15 minutes early or more no matter what weather, traffic, or other acts of divine intervention pop up. Print out directions to both the ceremony and the reception (if it's at a different location). Many a wedding has been hampered by guests who got lost and showed up an hour late.

{Since I’m getting married at the reception location, I will instruct the captain (person I go to with problems the day of the event) not to let anyone in after 15 minutes from designated start time. They will have to wait for ceremony to be over before being permitted in for cocktails}

2. Don't Produce Sound Effects While at a wedding and reception, turn off your Blackberries and cell phones, put them on vibrate, or better yet, don't even take them!

{Seriously. Is this an issue?}

3. Don't Talk Trash It may sound obvious, but it happens all the time. No matter how big or how loud a wedding is, things get overheard. So, be on your best and most polite behavior. No gossip about any of the other guests. No complaining out loud about anything -- whether it's the food or the long line at the ladies' room. And no comparisons to other weddings! As far as the bride and groom are concerned, this is a perfect day, and so it should be!

{Okay, has anyone ever been to a wedding where you don’t hear trash being talked about??? That is the reason I’ve chosen not to have video cameras}

4. Don't Come Bearing Gifts Whether you're planning on gifting the happy couple a Cuisinart or cold hard cash, do them a huge favor and don't bring it on the wedding day. If you do, they have to keep track of it and haul it home at the end of the night. Send the gift ahead of time, or after the actual ceremony -- at a time when they can really relax and enjoy it.

{I guess that could be an issue for some people.}

5. Don't Dress Down Whatever you choose to wear, make the effort to look your best for the bride and groom. They'll appreciate that you got dolled or duded up for the occasion. If the invitation doesn't specify dress code, put in a friendly email or call to the bride, groom, their parents, or attendants to get more info. Black Tie means you've got to dust off that long silk dress or rent a tux. If it's an outdoor affair, there may be more leeway, but get details on the location, so you can come prepared (because it's isn't fun to be traipsing around in the sand in your stilettos!).

{Do you really have to tell an adult how to dress? However, my feeling is this, I’m inviting the person, I really want you there and quite frankly, I’m not going to notice how you dress unless in a wedding gown. However, I can almost guarantee, if you don’t dress appropriately, others may violate Rule 3 above and talk trash about you.}

6. Don't Bring Mr. or Ms. Random If you're single, choose your date carefully. If it's someone you've only been out with once, it may not be the best idea (could be awkward for you, your date, and the newlyweds). Same if it's someone you recently "sort of" broke up with. Weddings are intimate affairs and bringing in a stranger should be done with thought. Let the bride or groom know if you decide to come alone so they can seat you with other fun "ones!" And as much as you may love your kiddos, don't take them if children aren't invited.

{If the invitation allows you to bring a guest, then bring whomever you choose. However, if it doesn’t, don’t bring one. In a previous life, when married, I was invited to a wedding, but my spouse wasn’t. I actually had to check to see if oversight, it wasn’t. It is sometimes tough going to a wedding where you really don’t know a soul, bring someone (date or friend) that will enjoy the event with you, has manners and doesn’t cause drama}

7. Don't Steal the Show Wedding ceremonies take all forms -- from religious to poetic, musical, or humorous. Whatever the vibe, let the bride and groom set the tone and follow their lead. If you're normally a loud, life-of-the-party type, bring it down a notch and let the wedding couple stand out. If you're a weeper, bring tissues and sit where you can sob without disturbing the I Do's. If the ceremony includes religious rituals, find out what you should do (or not do) ahead of time.

{Oh please…if you’re going to steal the show…leave or the captain will throw you out, but not before I recommend you read Emily Post’s Etiquette book}


8. Don't Pig Out If food is serve-yourself, avoid the buffet line stampede and wait until the crowd dies down. Also, avoid going back for thirds. Take a break and save room for cake! Seconds might be okay, once you've seen that everyone has eaten. If the food is served sit-down, eat what is served without requesting substitutions or omissions, unless you have a food allergy. Otherwise, pick delicately or chow down, but don't gripe that you "don't like fish." Worse comes to worst, you can hit Burger King on the way home!

{Again, my day and I’m not going to notice if you complain. If you do complain, complain to someone else, otherwise, you’ll be talking to my hand. Seriously, we picked out items that we believed could appeal to various people, not just us. If you don’t like what is being served, there are many restaurants and drive-thrus in the area you can go to after the event.}

9. Don't Drag Out Skeletons If the bride blushes, it should be from pride, joy, or sheer love. Not because someone just stood up and told a humiliating story about the loser she dated in high school! Ingratiate yourself to the lady and her groom by avoiding any potentially embarrassing or juvenile behavior -- no bawdy jokes, no tales about their dating habits or exploits, no overdrinking, and no overly sexy dancing. Have fun, but don't have it at anyone else's expense.

{OMG….if you do that, I won’t ask the captain to kick you out, I’ll ask you to leave. Seriously, there is a time and place for everything. Although not quite sure when appropriate to embarrass a good friend....Also, remember, for every story you have on me, I may have 2 on you}

10. Don't Stockpile Party Favors At the end of the night, as you're saying your thank-yous and farewells, avoid the urge to hog all the super-cool (or yummy) party favors! You don't need to take some for people who weren't able to attend. You don't need extras. Take one for yourself, unless someone in the wedding party urges you to do otherwise.

{Sorry, no favors at my wedding – just flowers, too hard to hog them}