Tuesday, July 7, 2009.....
I just found out that my soon to be ex-neighbor is marketing himself off as a life coach claiming that Positive Psychology and boundless energy will focus one's spirit breaking thorough old barriers and behaviors that didn't work.
He's so full of shit.
For years, I have lived next door to him and his wife, but with their upcoming divorce he has moved out and the house is on the market.
Before he makes these claims, he needs to re-examine his behaviors and change them. Although I find both pleasant, I don't trust either one and they have given a new meaning to the term bad neighbor.
Here are some examples of why I wouldn't trust this man to redirect my life:
- I would never use neighbor's lawn mower, tools or equipment without asking first. If I continually used them, I would offer to have them sharpened since I would be the *A* hole that ruined them while neighbor was hospitalized and recuperating from multiple surgeries.
- If my neighbor took care of my son for weeks at a time and I claimed I would provide the labor to replace neighbor's front door, I'd do it. Not 1/2 ass it.
- I would never tell my party guests to use my neighbor's yard as a public urinal or ashtray because I don't like people smoking in my yard (p.s. neighbor doesn't smoke or pee in her yard either).
- I would not ask neighbor if tree bordering property can be taken down and then go into the middle of neighbor's yard when neighbor is gone and pull down a tree that bothers me because I am undergoing some treatment for some psych disorder.
- I would not steal my neighbor's shopvac and keep in garage for neighbor to discover when she has just returned from a 7 day hospital stay & surgery. Only reason neighbor noticed or cared is that neighbor's sister lent her the shopvac and wanted it back.
There are so many other things that lead me to believe he needs the life coach and should not be giving any advice EVER.
However, if you want to learn how to be a complete DICK of a neighbor let me know. I imagine he's available and would give great guidance.