Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Vajazzling

Tuesday, April, 20, 2010.....

Vajazzle (Verb):To decorate your vagina with sequins.
(source: Urban Dictionary)

One of my favorite things about YogaGirl is how our conversation can take off in any direction. Today was no exception. Today, I learned that Jennifer Love Hewitt bedazzles her vagina or vajayjays (I really hate this word).

I was speechless. My first thought was a hot glue gun is used to bedazzle a purse; second thought turned to the lady from Celebrity Apprentice who promotes the BeDazzler on t.v. and wonder if that's what she had in mind for her BeDazzler.

Having never possibly conceived that a woman would want to put a glue gun in such a sensitive area, I went online prior to this post to do a little research and I learned this: Women aren't the only ones crazy enough to use a glue gun where they shouldn't, men are doing it too. Penazzle? Penazzling? Pjazzling? Pdazzle?

Why?

Jennifer Love Hewitt said on the George Lopez show how she vajazzled "her precious lady and it shines like a disco ball". Okay, whatever floats your boat.

So, I guess, when you run out of purses, shirts, sweaters or belts to bedazzled, grab a friend, a bottle of alcohol and knock yourself out. Oh yeah, if you do that, make sure you pick a friend who is artistic. Do you really want a bad vajazzle job?

32 comments:

Melanie's Randomness said...

I've hot glued stuff before & accidentally have gotten it on my fingers & IT HURTS LIKE A @#(%^!. I would never ever fathom putting it anywhere near THAT area. haha I love that you were like when your out of purses. lol! I think this is nuts.

iasa said...

I had to take a breaking after reading the first line of this post, until I could stop saying 'ow, ow'.

Like i need one of those sequins to come loose, and cut me during sex.

Is she trying to draw people's attention away from a really bad tattoo?

The Pittman's said...

I kinda picture the hot glue gun thing too. I just kinda imagine when you're walking or sitting down, ya know...it's gotta be slightly uncomfortable.

Spot said...

You do know they don't use a hot glue gun, right? It's some kind of special adhesive that bonds with skin when it's warm or something. Not that I know from personal experience, I read an article! I'd probably be allergic and I can't imagine my poor lady parts covered in rhinestones and hives. That's just too much.

Besides, if I spent that much money on being vajazzled, I'd feel like I needed to run around showing everyone. And really, no one wants to see that!!

♥Spot

LiLu said...

I discovered this gem the other day...

(NSFW)

Brian Miller said...

my appointment is tomorrow...

snickers.

Little Ms Blogger said...

Melanie - I hear you! No freakin way!

iasa - Never mind them coming loose..what about them scratching the penis or ripping the condom. What do you say then? Oh, the condom was effective until my sequin tore a hole in it.

The Pittman's -- I didn't think about sitting down. I wonder if they could, depending upon the jewels you use, set off a metal detector.

Spot - No. Sadly, I didn't. My sister didn't share that with me and when I looked this stuff up, they just had pictures...and the definition didn't tell you how it was applied. However, that still doesn't change the fact that I want to dress up that area of my body. If I go out of the house without earrings, I'm going to put bejeweled that area? Why would a guy do something that dumb?

LiLu - Ummm...will you think less of me when I tell you I have this kit? I don't, but I have heard of people doing this. However, my favorite line from the ad is: "allow any woman to make a completely accurate chocolate replica of the OUTER PORTION of her VAGINA from the comfort and privacy of her own home." Comfort and privacy is so key when making a replica of your vagina....

Brian - Maybe if you bring your wife you can get a 2 for 1 special.

maria.palermo said...

This is just plain nasty. Think of what your OB-GYN will say when you have to go in for your annual! YUCK!

kk said...

Okay. I have a few concerns here.

1. does the bedazzling cause pulls in your underwear?

2. do pieces of toilet paper stick to the decorations?

3. you know how sequins get CAUGHT on stuff...and by stuff I mean EVERYTHING???

Um, ouch.

blueviolet said...

Why is JLW admitting that? What if it catches on your jeans or undies or something? Does it rip your skin right off?

TechnoBabe said...

Great writing in the post. So funny. I especially like the last part, would you want someone who isn't artistic to give you a vajazzling job?
Even if I could or would do this particular bedazzling, I would not go on TV and tell everyone. Gads.

Little Ms Blogger said...

Maria – You think? I think it’s special – NOT…

Kk – answers below to questions:
1 – I bet you’d go commando
2 – hold it in like a camel
3 – become a nudist?

BV – What? You wouldn’t fess up? Are you telling me your woo-hoo is shimmering like a disco ball and you’re keeping the 70’s to yourself? Your other questions just have me conjure up bad visualizations so I’m going to pass on thinking of an answer for them.

TechnoBabe – Why thank you. Why would you proudly announce it on tv if you weren’t going to show the world – it’s a big why bothering mentioning it.

BeckEye said...

I've also read that Jennifer Love Hewitt has been cheated on a lot, so I'm going to guess that men don't really like bedazzled vaginas.

iasa said...

BeckEye, maybe that's why she's drawing attention to it. Look! Look!! it's right here.

marti said...

Well, forget trying to convince the wife to have a threesome (every mans dream apparently) I'm now going to put all my effort into getting her to do some vajazzling! Shall let you know the outcome, probably be a nice hand print to the face but what the hey!

Candice said...

I can't imagine how that would be comfortable in the least.

I'll pass on the vag bling.

P said...

Vag sequins and crap like that? Ugh. I also don't get people thst get their hair down there waxed into shapes. It's enough hassle to maintain as it is.

For the record, I don't like "vajayjay" either but i see it so often in the blogosphere that it must have absorbed into my brain and while i was in the pub a few weeks ago, i ended up using it in a sentence. Cue a lot of strange looks from my companions...

Stereos and Souffles said...

Where do they end up when they come loose? Will they light that stairway to heaven with their reflection? Freakin nuts. Speaking of, maybe guys should start bedazzling their balls. Those things need all the help they can get.

Little Ms Blogger said...

BeckEye – maybe the reason is because she vajazzled the wrong name of her current beau and the new beau gets upset.

Iasa – LOL – kind of like an air traffic controller guiding a plane in for the landing.

Marti - Please do tell us what happens. Maybe she’ll want to be just like Jennifer Love Hewitt and get into vajazzling!

Candice – hey, at least you’d feel pretty when you walked by the mirror feeling sick.

P – I don’t get all the hair shaping things a person can do – too painful and ugh, imagine if you didn’t groom enough? Ugh, won’t go there.
I’m so happy someone doesn’t like the word ‘vajayjay’ I feel like it’s the word you’d use around a 3 year old.

Stereos & Souffles – Where do they go? Well, if walking the city streets, it make become a present for some homeless guy.

Jules said...

Sorry. No time to read. I have to go vajazzle right now.

Little Ms Blogger said...

Jules - I expect nothing less from you.

Hey, if I vajazzled, would that score me an automatic win in your giveaway?

Salt said...

Wow..I didn't realize that Jennifer Love Hewitt was such a weirdo. I guess I don't see the point in having your vagina shine like a disco ball if no one else is going to see it. And wouldn't it be uncomfortable with pants on?

I think I might be overthinking this. Either way the word "vajazzle" makes me laugh every time I hear it. I think it's best said while doing jazz hands.

Jingle said...

fun,
you rock!

Charlie's said...

LMB and LiLu, I cannot believe there is vajazzling activity and a vagina-replication-kit in this world. By the way, why does the manufacturer stress that it is for "the OUTER PORTION of her VAGINA" - what fool out there has tried any other part of her vagina... ??

JennyMac said...

I, unfortunately, saw this exact chat on George Lopez. Ay Carumba. And she is still talking about John Mayer. Stop that too.

She is adorable but I could have lived FOREVER without knowing her disco tricks.

Debbie said...

Here's the thing - this is CRAZY! I just did a post Monday about how I don't embellish anything and I meant anything. Do these people not have laundry to do?

otin said...

Maybe she should turn it into a Chia pet! LOL

DSS said...

This was the topic of conversation last night at a birthday dinner I attended. All of the guys were on their blackberry's googling it, as they had never heard of it.

Too much for me I say. Too much!

Little Ms Blogger said...

Jingle - I so don’t rock – I won’t ever be vajazzling my vagina anytime while I still have my sanity – Oh, but that could be quite fetching if placed in a nursing home at 90…

Charlie – You’re from Belgium, imagine how tasty that vagina replica would be! And since you’re from Belgium, you can use real diamonds instead of that fake crystal…

JennyMac – I’m thinking that George Lopez appearance may have done more harm than good.

Debbie – They have people to do the laundry and while waiting for the clothes to dry their friend vajazzles them.

Otin – Then she couldn’t Vajazzle! Bet your jealous and are now looking for places to get Pdazzled…

DSS – Wow – what fun dinner conversation, can I hang out with you. Definitely beats talking about sports or weather.

DB said...

I am LOLing at this post and the comments. So I had to Google vajazzling and there is a website, www.vajazzling.com. There're on FB, Twitter...too funny - you can win contests, there are photos. I wonder who the hell actually thought of this, since I doubt JLH was the first woman to think of this

FYI Kathy Griffin got vajazzled for a show on her upcoming season of My Life on the D List.

Unknown Mami said...

I was "talking" to Eva from "Wrestling with Retirement" and she refers to the male equivalent as dick-orating.

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