Monday, June 30, 2008
Friday, June 27, 2008
When applying online for a position, always be careful to review what you cut-n-paste as your resume before hitting the continue button.
In my case, some HR rep will quickly surmise that I'm probably not competent based upon the fact that I submitted this information as my resume:
I will not consume more than 10 units of alcohol during the reception
• I will not bring an inappropriate date to the wedding or reception
• I will not make advances towards any inappropriate male guests attending the
• I will not remove any item of my Bridesmaid outfit during the reception
• I will keep my hair and make up fresh at all times
• I will be happy and positive at all times during the wedding and reception
• I will not attempt to out-do the bride in any way
I did resubmit the application with my actual resume, but unless the HR rep has a sense of humor, I can safely assume I will not be getting a call from this Fortune 500 company for an interview.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Thank heavens my sister has the common sense not to sign the bridesmaid contract I posted on my last entry. Personally, if she had, just think of all the fun I would have missed not being able to mock her on the following points of the contract:
1. I will not consume more than 10 units of alcohol during the reception - Oh please, it's a wedding and I really hope she consumes too much and embarrasses herself so I can mock or imitate her for months. (Yeah, I know, I'm a sweet sister)
2. I will not bring an inappropriate date to the wedding or reception - Again, as stated in #1, the lack of an inappropriate date would be no fun; however, if she does not bring an inappropriate date, I can only hope that she does #3.
3. I will not make advances towards any inappropriate male guests attending the
reception - Oh please....how is this a bad thing?....Imagine all the family dinners and holidays this can be revisited. It would definitely make for better dinner discussion than gravy, passing the salt or the weather.
4. I will not remove any item of my Bridesmaid outfit during the reception - Too many visualizations to discuss on this subject....and my wedding reception is not a Tom Jones concert....
5. I will keep my hair and make up fresh at all times - Actually, I think all photos should include pics of her with makeup smeared --- at least I will not be outdone by my MOH.
6. I will be happy and positive at all times during the wedding and reception - Seriously, as the bride, do you think I'll care or even listen to someone rambling on and on if they are not happy on my day....the expression "talk to the hand comes to mind"
7. I will not attempt to out-do the bride in any way - Unless she is willing to make a complete fool of self, so other guests have entertainment, I have to agree with this one. If she outshines me in a positive way, well, she'll have to leave immediately and will not be allowed to take back the exquisite gift she is planning on giving me.
Monday, June 23, 2008
I recently had a discussion with my sister, also my maid of honor, about planning some sort of event for me. She's going to France in September and gave me the option of July or August. Somehow, a July pre-wedding fun event seemed wrong....too early. I suggested October and the only weekend available is the first weekend. She thought I'd be busy racing around doing last minute items. I told her that I may have a fitting, but since it would be a night event, the fitting wouldn't get in the way.
Seriously, if you haven't booked everything in advance then there would be nothing come the day of your wedding. If my fiance hasn't gotten his tux lined up, well, he's wearing whatever he wants and looking a tad out of place at the wedding. However, we're both grown adults and I don't need or want to babysit him. At the end of the day, this is a wedding, lots of good food, drink, music and hopefully lots of friends. The day will come and go, I will be married to the love of my life and I can guarantee that my fiance will not be wearing a tux the next day.
However, with my sister's fear that I should be running around like a chicken with its head cut off, I have come across this bridesmaid contract and should have her sign it http://abajournal.com/files/bridesmaidscontract.pdf so she can spend her time worried and frantic that she might have violated some condition of the contract.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
I emphatically say YES!
I truly believe that although there may not be a Brussel Sprouts national association like the Dairy and Beef industries; it is merely an oversight. I know that there may be some, okay, a vast majority of people that disagree with my statement, but I believe it is because you've just never had them prepared properly.
Brussel Sprouts, I believe to be the misunderstood vegetable as many do not know how to prepare it. Seriously, how can you not love a vegetable that looks like a mini cabbage and has an unique flavor that makes all other vegetables on a plate pale in comparison.
This past winter, I ate at a local restaurant that uses only the freshest, local ingredients. I don't remember the exact dish's name, but it was pork with brussel sprouts on the side. The pork to be the main attraction, but in my case, the brussel sprouts won that honor. I was focused on eating the perfectly prepared brussel sprouts (thank you chef Michel Nischan) when the waitress approached our table and asked if there was something wrong with the pork entree. At first, I was a bit dumbfounded that she asked this question, I had not realized that my entire focus was on the side dish. I and my dining partner knew that I was thoroughly enjoying the brussel sprout, but I hadn't known it was that obvious to others. Kudos to the waitstaff at the restaurant for being that attentive.
However, if approached with either perfectly cooked Brussel Sprouts or chocolate....hands down the Brussel Sprout wins.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Last night I had the pleasure of seeing one of my favorite authors, Jane Green, give a reading from her new book "The Beach House".
I have to admit I didn't know what to expect. I knew she was British, so I expected the accent, and I also knew that she lived in my neighboring town. What I didn't expect was something that can only be experienced in person. She was lovely. She shared a bit of her personal life when explaining the journey in writing her last two books, however, that isn't what surprised me. I was surprised because you could tell that she was truly happy and at peace in her life. I don't know her and although many say they are happy, they are not. However, she said it and you could tell she really meant it. Her happiness was infectious. You could read it on her face, in her eyes and in her mannerism. She is one of those people that you knew if you talked with, your mood would lift and wouldn't really know why.
I know that is an odd comment to say about a published author, or anyone for that matter, but it is a rare find in today's society.
I purchased her last 2 books (I own the others) and also scored a great cookbook by James Patterson. My sister and fiance were not shocked by my purchase of Jane Green's books as they knew that was my purpose to B&N, but they both had a similar comment about my cookbook purchase --- "oh wait, you bought another cookbook.....don't you have 200+ already? What's so special about this one?" I explained that it had pictures, which sounds stupid, but an instructional cookbook with more pictures than recipes is a gem in my book (no pun intended). My sister feels that my obsession with cookbooks is because I am frustrated at some unfulfilled destiny in becoming a chef and that if I were one, I wouldn't own as many cookbooks. I beg to differ. I bet that a published author owns a lot of books, more than my cookbook collection. However, my only problem is that none of my friends are published authors and can back me up.
I plan to spend my free time while looking for a job reading these books and maybe, I might even make a dish for my sister or fiance from the new cookbook if they are good.
I really should rephrase that statement. My sister will share her food if the risk/reward ratio is in her favor. For example, if we go to the movies, she'll offer her popcorn to me because I may only have a handful. There is no risk to her having most of her popcorn eaten by me, but she looks and feels good for having made the offer.
I share my food and this is how I found out my sister does not share hers. I was out to dinner with her friends and offered up a portion of my dinner for people to sample and her friends became shocked. They did not believe we were from the same family, but yes, we are. I think the funnier part is that I never noticed this trait, but it could also be that she never ordered food I wanted to sample.
However, what I find amazing is that people point this out to her all the time. She typically gets comments when she orders dessert and others don't. They can order a dessert, but choose not to. I think it is the stigma of calories, but heck, order the dessert and only take a bite. Since when is it a crime to not share your food? When was the last time you went to dinner with a friend and expected that you'd be eating what they ordered.
Personally, I always offer my food to sample and rarely ask for a bite from others. I may suggest splitting a dessert, but that happens when the order is placed. I don't know why, but I'm just amused with people's comments about my sister's inability to share her food....
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Question of the Day..... Will you burn in hell if you refuse to accept a charity's mailing kit to address, stamp and mail to all of your neighbors?
For years I've accepted the heart association's kit, Leukemia, but never actually mailed out the letters to my neighbors. Last year I decided not to accept the mailing package from any charity since I never do it anyway (understand, I've given a lot of my time over the years --- including walking a marathon).
This year, one charity has been calling and calling and I finally answered their call this morning. Her first assumption was that I was going to take the package and do the mailing. WRONG. When I politely said no and thanked her for her time, she started to lecture me and I firmly said, "no thank you, have a nice day" and hung up.
Charity volunteers should realize their target audience --- hard selling me the concept to volunteer my time is just wrong and actually annoyed me.
So, my question remains....will I burn in hell for not doing this?
Friday, June 13, 2008
For most, Friday the 13th represents black cats and bad luck. For me, Friday 13th ended my horror of wedding dress shopping. I only have one word...Yipee!
I went to two shops. The first was a bust, but the second was perfect. I met my friend there and she was a definite lifesaver. Telling me which dress looked good and which one was a definite NOT. I chose 4 dresses to try one and made my choice within 20 minutes. I came out of the dressing room and when I announced I'd made my choice, my friend was in shock. I consider myself a definite "power non-shopper". When I have to purchase something, I know right away and zero in on it. I also have to admit, picking the right wedding dress is just something you know. All the ones that aren't right are just yards of fabric.
I still have to figure out hairstyle, veil and shoes. However, since my friend is the Zappos queen, I may have her do some scouting for me. I prefer flip flops, but even I know better.
All in all, Friday the 13th was a great day for me!
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
I don't care how much of a romantic you are, shopping for wedding dresses in 95 degree weather wearing jeans in a shop where there is only a fan running is SCARY! The other shop I tried to go to was closed.
I literally stood there paralyzed remembering my friend's recount of her dream of my wedding dress. Apparently, I went by myself and purchased a fuchsia gown and matching veil for the big day. She said I looked horrible - go figure. She told me that I couldn't go by myself and now I believe she is right. I had a young girl in the shop write down the 3 I had chosen and plan to come back with an opinion other than my own. I also plan to spend the next 3 days on the hunt for a dress. I know that the heat will impact my decision making and am calling in reinforcements.
Personally, I think the dress shopping will be a scarier experience than the movie I plan to see tonight, The Strangers.
Why would anyone in their right mind choose to start Weight Watchers and try on wedding gowns the same day? I'm blaming it on the heat and not that I'm insane.
Actually, I realized today that my wedding is 4 months and 1 day away and I really need to do some work on the apparel and my appearance. I've been avoiding the dress shopping aspect of this adventure as most dresses are strapless and I'm a plus size girl. I realize that I should have stayed on WW when I joined last year, but the adventures of my life got in the way (okay, I stopped going to meetings, measuring food and drinking the water). Now, I'm back as I hope to lose some weight in my arms before the blessed event and possibly not have such a pinhead (my sister would understand this reference --- actually anyone who has seen their shadow in front of them when walking could understand this reference) in the photos.
Since I now have the time to plan, prep and exercise (being unemployed), I figure 2 lbs/week for the next 17 weeks. That should be enough to take some weight off my arms and reduce the visualization of my pin head in photos.
Monday, June 9, 2008
Cranky, cranky, cranky..... I know that this term is usually used describing small children when not behaving or in a bad mood. However, it is also a term I use to describe myself when I want to snap at people or any situation and have no reason to. I usually know I'm cranky and make fun of myself. I'll contact my sister to notify her and she'll tell her friends alert "j is cranky" because I'm actually fun to tease.
Today, I'm blaming the reason on the heat. The entire weekend was unproductive and although I had intended to clean the basement with the help of the fiance (due to fear of boogie man) we didn't as he was injured. We ventured out to get an airconditioner as he told me last Wednesday that it was going to be 90+ degrees and I poo-poo'd him. He was right and is almost always right in regards to the weather as he watches the weather report on several channels and the Weather Channel. Having worked out of my house the past few years has had me rely on my system....look out the window. If it snows, well, I figure if God put it there, he can take it away (trust me, my sister and I have had numerous conversations on how my theory one day might not work -- as of yet, I'm 100% on mark). After we came back and put in the airconditioner (he did all the work) we read, watched some t.v. and had a very uneventful Saturday.
Sunday, we thought we'd mix things up a bit and go out. This is where I hand over my girly-girl hat to my fiance. He loves to shop, but he hasn't yet admitted this. Don't get me wrong, I can spend some money and shop, but I always have a mission and don't really look at a zillion items of the same thing before making up my mind like he does. He can look at 50 pairs of shorts and I'd be the type to take the first one that I liked. On the way out of the store I convinced him to buy me a "Life is Good" waterbottle (tragically, my M&M waterbottle was not meant for the dishwasher and melted). His comment to me was "when did you see that?" As a power non-shopper (I believe a new breed of consumers) I can spot what I want in seconds, like a hunting dog. Shopping online is awesome and the only sport I find in shopping is how quickly I can get out of the store with my arms filled (of course, unemployed, this sport is over).
The store we went to was next to a grocery store. Granted I need flour (trying my hand at homemade pasta this week) and the fiance was like let's go in. This is something else the fiance loves to do. How does anyone in the world like grocery shopping???? It could be that my fridge is too small to hold more than a couple of yogurts and no matter how many times I clean it out it still looks full (my sister could attest to that comment). I will admit, I don't like grocery stores, but farmer's markets are great.
At the end of the day, I cooked (in 95+ weather) and we watched a t.v. . I awoke cranky and thought this feeling was going to go away, but hasn't. I can't imagine that I'll be cranky the whole summer when it gets over 90 degrees (who knows, that could be a possibility) but it turns out that my throat is killing me and I believe that I'm getting a cold. I'm happy to know that my crankiness will not be with me all summer (I'd like to keep my friends) but will be gone when this cold is gone.
However, that raises my next question....who gets a cold in 95 degree weather (actually, 98.2 according to the fiance as of 3:15 pm ET)?
Friday, June 6, 2008
My friend was kind enough to email me the lyrics to the Mr. Potato Head song and here they are:
"I made you, you know it's true..."
"Mr. Potato Head, I made you..."
"Eyes and ears, mouth and nose too..."
"Mr. Potato Head, I made you..."
The older I get, the more I realize that 90% (okay, 99.9%) of my conversations are really trivial.....and I have to say, I'm okay with that. However, I thought when I graduated college that as an adult I would talk about world events, politics and anything that required the use of "cool" vocabulary words. Although my friends are very intelligent (not just considered by my standards) our conversations are never that. Here's a recap of some of this morning's conversations:
1. Obama and wife's knuckle tapping --- friend and I were appalled that this made major news headlines. Personally, after seeing a headline on one of the internet sites, I refused to read the article. I was scared that this was either a really slow news day or that the media would spin this into a wife beating article. (I am admitting this to be the most intellectual conversation of my morning).
2. Fear of Basements. Unfortunately, the weather in the NE is calling for rain this weekend and that means I can't start painting garage (see powerwashing entry), but can finish cleaning out my basement. As I kid, I grew up too close to the water and couldn't have a basement (thank heavens for small blessings). I make this comment because my friend down the street (with the house on the hill) had the creepiest basement. OMG, it definitely could have been the set for many horror movies. I remember the handful of times we went down to the basement, I couldn't wait to get back upstairs. As an adult, it was my husband's wish when we got a house that it had to have a basement. Now, I have a house with a laundry room in the basement, little lighting and a crawl space that is off of the basement and a place I'd only go in to if hiding from serial killers that were in my house. My fiance (in the divorce from ex, I purchased the house with the basement) wants to finish cleaning the basement and put some sort of t.v. down there. I told him that there aren't enough outlets instead of admitting that I believe that the boogie man lives down there (heck, it's bad enough that I've already represented self as girly-girl -again, reference power washing entry).
3. Robert DeNiro is filming in the building my sister works in (I'm only posting this for other sister who is queen of all celebrity news and I know she doesn't know this - have to one up her on useless knowledge).
4. Mr. Potato Head Lyrics. This is what I have considered to best conversation of the day. When talking with sister this morning on her way to work (still unemployed as of date of this posting), I started to sing the Mr. Potato Head song (it was early and I had no caffeine) and couldn't remember all the words. Unfortunately, the search for it on the net has proved futile as there are only the lyrics from a group called the Game (I don't think the word 'niggas' was used in a 70s commercial for kids). She didn't remember the song and neither did my older sister. Now, this will bother me all day (another reason I need a job).
I would like to believe that once employed again, I will have more meaningful conversations with friends and family, but nah......what's the point.
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Today, I thought I'd share my space with a friend of mine. I should explain. I'm divorced with no kids and live alone (for the moment). My friend is married with 3 small children and we started sharing our thoughts about certain things. Today's blog is about the Tivo/DVR. Since my friend is incredibly busy, these shared topics will show up only every now and again because her time is much more limited than mine.
How easy is it to be addicted to one’s DVR or TIVO? I thought that crazy talk when my sister mentioned her anxiety due to all the shows on her DVR that she had yet to watch. I scoffed at her until I got one.
I got one because my fiancé, and I go to bed earlier than most of the shows either end or start (note – lead much healthier lifestyle when fiance is at my house). Having a DVR was great and in the beginning, I was able to keep on top of what I taped. Once I started thinking “wow” I didn’t know that show was on and/or started discovering new shows, I was hosed. I set up my parameters to tape “first run” shows so I would see only the latest and greatest. However, that all changed when I realized that Paige returned to “Trading Spaces” and I had missed the first few episodes. I started taping all shows, anytime on the channel. Granted, there is a sense of satisfaction being able to eliminate a show right away because it was a repeat. Victory! I’ve accomplished reducing my percentage of shows taped.
The other thing that I’ve noticed is that I started to stay up later to watch the shows I’ve taped while new ones are simultaneously are being recorded. I admit I do enjoy fast forwarding through the commercials, but sometimes, I still stop and play the commercials to watch or use as a great bathroom break (I’m an advertiser’s dream).
Initially, I laughed at my sister’s anxiety over her disc space, or lack of, on her DVR, but now I understand it. Do you think a new medical condition or addiction will be named to address society’s new obsession with the DVR/TIVO? Why not? They created an addiction name for people spending too much time on the Internet…..the name escapes me, but I know there is a name they mentioned it on one of my taped Law & Order episodes.
My Friend's Response (remember married with 3 small children):
Ha ha ha ha ha, that’s me laughing at anxiety over disc space or lack of. Now I love Madonna (my pet name for my friend's big sister) and I love my friend, but at the risk of sounding like the militant anti-television nazi that I wish I could be, I don’t get the DVR/TIVO thing. Not one bit. I think it’s because in my homeschooling mother of three world, you can’t have TV. Say after a 15 hour day you pry the eyelids long enough to sit down to your favorite show, Girls Next Door or perhaps Housewives of Orange County. It might be 10pm (except it can’t be, or you’d be sleeping) but you still run the risk of small feet and big ears in the hallway filling up on dreams of g-strings, botox injections and partially bleeped curse words. Try explaining to a nine year old boy why you’re spending your precious free time here. Not to mention why the Girls fancy teeny- tiny underwear, or on special occasions, just a little body paint. I guess if your favorites run to the likes of the History Channel say, or Animal Planet your biggest worry might be the commercial for To Catch a Predator or a maybe giant lion eating up an unsuspecting caribou. Maybe TIVO is the way to go. You can fast forward through the bad parts right? But really, it’s just too risky. Too slippery a slope. One good documentary, then a movie, then a few episodes of your favorite show, then a season of reality TV that isn’t actually real. It’s hard enough to turn it off when you don’t have nine episodes lined up. And that is the point right, it would be better if we all just turned it off? It takes willpower – something that comes sparingly at the end of a busy day. I might be tempted to watch all 6 seasons of Sex in the City in one sitting. Here’s what could happen. 9 year-old observation: Mom, do those ladies have sex in the city? 7 year-old observation: Mom, why are you watching a show about sex? 3 year-old observation: (To Grandma) My mom likes sex! (New favorite song) Sex Sex Sex! Husband’s observation: How come we’re not having sex in the city? Mom’s observation: I’m too tired from watching all that sex in the city.